Our responsibility is to make right decisions based on God’s Word, and His job is to heal our emotions. We usually want to feel better first, but God wants us to do what is right first, no matter how we feel. When we do, we are growing spiritually and will enjoy more emotional stability the next time we are faced with a difficult situation. When we make a decision to forgive, we probably won’t feel like forgiving. After all, we have been treated unjustly, and it hurts. But doing the right thing while we feel wronged is extremely important to our overall spiritual growth. It also glorifies God.
For many years I tried to forgive people when they hurt or offended me, but since I still had negative feelings toward them, I assumed that I wasn’t successful in the forgiveness journey. Now I realize that no matter how I feel, if I keep praying for the person who injured me and bless rather than curse him or her, I am on my way to freedom from destructive emotion. To curse means to speak evil of, and to bless means to speak well of. When someone has hurt us, we can refuse to speak evil of them, even if we’re tempted to do so. We can also bless them by talking about their good qualities and good things they have done. If we only look at the mistakes people make, we won’t be able to like them. But looking at their whole lives gives us a more balanced picture of them.
Nothing I have said will keep you from experiencing emotional pain when someone hurts you, but it can help you in the process of forgiveness. These methods have helped me, and I truly believe they will help you.
You cannot wait until you feel warm and loving toward someone who hurt you to forgive them. You’ll probably have to do it while you are still hurting and forgiving is the last thing you feel like doing, but doing it puts you in the “God league.” It puts you squarely on the road that is “narrow”, but leads to the way of life. It puts you on the road less traveled, the one that Jesus Himself traveled on. Don’t forget that one of the last things He did was forgiving someone who didn’t deserve forgivenss, and He did it while hanging on a cross being crucified. I think some of the last things that Jesus did were specially designed to help us remember how important those things are.
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