Jealousy killed the relationship, and it has been guilty of killing millions of relationships since time began. People cannot live a life where they feel there is no trust, there is no room to breathe, and they feel like they are being suffocated. Unfortunately, jealous people do just that. They hold onto their belief about how the relationship should be manifested, and when their partner doesn’t react in a way that they expect, jealousy kicks in.
Reducing Fears In A Relationship
While you cannot take away all of your fears in life, you can minimize them. Talk about what you expect out of the relationship, and see that it’s on course with what your partner wants. Talk about where you want the relationship to go, and be straightforward about it. Learn to trust. Love can’t be a real thing if there’s no trust involved. This is a two-way street, and for a relationship to succeed, there has to be a level of trust. Talk about your hopes and dreams. Talk about your fears, and let your partner assure you and give you the confidence needed to gain that trust. It takes time to develop a relationship. Don’t jump in with both feet unless you and your partner are willing to take that commitment. Otherwise, you are heading for disaster. If it’s your dream but it’s not your partner’s dream, it won’t work, but if you are able to share your dreams and both aim in the same direction, this helps take away a lot of the fears that you may otherwise have expressed through jealousy.
You need to be complete as a human being before you enter a relationship because jealousy isn’t about anyone else. It’s about you. If you enter into a relationship without first having learned to comfortably accept who you are and be happy with that person you have turned out to be, you will never find happiness with someone else. Insecurities in yourself will always surface, no matter how much your partner loves you, because these insecurities are part of who you are. Resolving these problems would take a little bit of time - this means time on your own. Get used to who you are. Like who you are, and don’t always bend to the will of someone else. A partnership has to be a two-way thing, but before you can even enter one, you need to be a whole human being rather than a broken one.
If old relationships have left you broken, you need time to heal and mend. Jealousy can easily creep into your life if you already have fears about who you are. I see it time and time again, and unfortunately, there’s nothing that anyone can do about it. Friends make mistakes, relationships fall apart, but those that fall apart because of jealousy do so because jealous people are incomplete people.
Have you ever heard the expression from one partner to another that he or she isn’t complete without their partner? It's actually not that true. They may feel that life isn't as satisfying and may miss their partner terribly if something happens, but if you go into a relationship and need it to the extent that you can't exist without the other person, then you are not yet ready for a relationship. It’s not fair to them, and it’s stupidity on your part to believe that another person makes you whole. Learn to cope with your fears. Learn to live with them, and learn to like yourself because everybody has the potential to have fears that are unresolved, but while they are unresolved, life won’t work like it should. That’s when jealousy starts to rear its ugly head.
If you need help getting beyond jealousy and find that it takes up all of your thoughts, and you are unable to resolve these thoughts by yourself, it may be beneficial to talk to a counselor who can help you to understand where all of that jealousy is coming from. It's very unhealthy, and it helps no one to feel that way. With the help of a counselor, you will be able to see why you feel so jealous and then work your way through it. In fact, if jealousy is taking over your life, and you can’t resolve it, this may be the most permanent way to face up to your fears - to grab them by the hand and face up to them, knowing that a professional is there for you and will work through those fears with you. Sometimes, you can’t do it alone, but you do need to face up to whatever fears are wrecking your trust in others because you can’t build a relationship based on jealous thoughts.
The benefits of getting beyond jealousy are as follows:
You feel more confidence in yourself and others.
You learn to use your instincts to trust people.
Your relationships will last longer.
You won’t alienate friends.
On the other hand, you can look at the disadvantages and decide whether you want to live with all of these limitations getting in the way of your happiness. At the end of the day, you do have a choice. If you have unresolved problems that cause you to feel jealous, it’s time to sort them out, leave them behind you, and begin to live your life in a way that is more enriched and based on trust. Here are the disadvantages of jealousy:
It causes friction in a relationship.
It puts you through a lot of mental torture.
It may actually not be justified.
Its negative nature will kill relationships.
You will become someone people don’t have time for.
You will break your relationship if you bring jealousy into the frame.
Jealousy of others - jealousy which is unfounded and which is misplaced - will spell the end of a relationship, and it’s not worth it. If you doubt something your partner says, leam to communicate in a positive way so that you can find answers together. Looking through the eyes of jealousy really won’t win you any brownie points, and you will make yourself thoroughly miserable in the process.
Comment