We always complain that life is hard and work makes us tired! And it’s so hard to be a good person! Our life has been blamed by us as rubbish. But have we ever thought that such hard life is result of all our choices? Have you ever actively chosen a life you want?
Tong Liya had participated a speech days ago. In her speech she had told her story of her journey from Xinjiang to Beijing, in which she had to go through mountain by mountain and there were lots of choices and hardships. She revealed that she like the saying: your life shouldn’t be arranged by someone else and you should try your best to fight for and strive by yourself instead. It’s a sentence from the great novel — The Ordinary World. Are you still waiting for anyone else to arrange your life?
Why you allow others to treat you in this way?
A friend told me days ago that she was planning to leave this small city and go to one of the biggest city in this country. She complained that atmosphere around her is so bad because her female colleagues just don’t read anything or do any exercise and even like profiting at other people’s expense. While several of her classmates who had gone to big cities are all persisting in doing exercise, reading, living a rich life she is eager for. I just persuade her to re-consider about her plan.
Not all people in big cities like striving in such an active way because there are some lazy persons there. Her classmates can live in such an up way because they had actively chosen to become who they really like.
In a similar way, that girl in her own company becomes lazy not because of the small city she’s living but because of her own initial choice.
People often over-exaggerate the influence from the environment as they often think they have no choice because of their own environment. In fact, anyone is make some choices initially.
One of my favorite psychological consultation teacher had even once complained to her tutor about her troubles in her work as she thought all the troubles are caused by her colleague’s laziness and her leader’s picky attitude. But her tutor just listened to her patiently without any comforting intention. He just split out after stopping of her complaints: “How pitiful you are! How could you allow them to treat you in this way?”
Then this psychological consultation teacher realized that all influence from others to her just happened to her for her allowances. If she hadn’t allowed them, no one can transfer such bad emotion to her.
You’re always seduced to make choices.
We still have the right to make choices even we think we don’t have choice. You can even choose money or your life when some robber pointed to you with a gun.
However, there is no gun in life and we just make choices by our own. We just accept bad or good influence from the environment we are in. Many people are just living a life they don’t want and they are always trapped in a passive and incompetent state.
Why can’t we be host of our own life but be controlled by others often?
Someone may open an online shopping store and plan to see the logistics information. But he just can’t control himself to view the recommended products and waste an evening. Someone may just want to reply to a comment but he just continue to read some interesting headline and forget the time schedule to finish his own job.
We actually don’t want to waste time. Our troubles may be mainly caused by unconfirmed arrangement of our own time. And sometimes we even don’t know what we should do in free time. Making no choice is actually a choice itself. Because others will make arrangements for you if you don’t arrange something for yourself.
When you’re ordering dishes with a group of people, you are giving up your own favorite dishes if you surrender your choices and give them to your fellows.
Do you really know what kind of life you want?
If you want to make active choices for your life, you need to know what kind of life you want the first. Unfortunately, most people are just ignorant about this. There are so much information in this world and we are more easily interfered by them. When you are determined to learn a new course and want to apply for a training course. You may hesitate to choose a proper training class and most of the time may be wasted in your hesitation and finally you even give up your learning plan. So we have to learn to avoid interruption by the outside world first. We have to close our eyes and cover our ears in order to be ourselves without losing any direction. In this way,we will feel that we can regaining our own initiative in our own life.