Like dating in your 20s and 30s, dating in your 40s come with a whole new set of challenges. Maybe you've had a marriage breakdown and it really did a number on your heart or maybe you have trouble creating distance between you and your ex because of your children. Or perhaps you haven't put yourself out there because you haven't been on a date in years.
It could feel terrifying to leave yourself vulnerable to new people and a whole new way of dating With the hype that comes with every dating app/site launched also comes the dating horror stories that people have. It can leave many of us paralysed with fear that online dating is riddled with bad dates and 'I can't believe he did that' stories you share with friends.
I’m not going to lie. You will have your mix of good and bad experiences in online dating (just as you would in the real world) But if you don't put yourself out there, you are holding yourself back from the epic love you deserve.
If you feel like something is holding you back from trying online dating, it could be due to any of the following reasons：
□Self-consciousness - others may judge you and think you're desperate forgoing online (which is 100% untrue by the way)
□Lack of confidence
□Fear of the unknown
□Getting into a situation you can't get out of
All these are hurdles most women struggle with regardless of age. And they come from the relationship beliefs we hold to be true-relationship beliefs that are often built from previous relationships i.e all relationships are meant to end, all men are d-heads, all the good single men my age are taken... etc. These beliefs are not truths. They are your version of reality. If you can change this, you will see your love life from a whole new perspective.
Most women say they want love in their lives but few are actually ready to receive it. Here are a few questions that may help you assess whether you're ready for a new relationship：
□ Are you fairly happy with who you are?
You are responsible for your own happiness Please don't give the control over to someone else or wait for someone to come along to make you happy. It needs to come from within.
□ Do you consider yourself whole without a man in your life?
For the same reason as above, you need to be whole as a person to present your best self in a relationship. The longest relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Master that and the rest will be a breeze.
□ Are you able to follow your own interests and be independent?
Your life doesn't stop when you meet a partner.
□ Are you ready to show people the raw, honest and vulnerable side of you?
Because when you open your heart and let people in, you also risk getting hurt. Is this something you can handle right now? Because vulnerability is the fastest catalyst to relationship success.
Success in love (and life) comes from developing a mind-set that sets you up to attract partners who are aligned with what you're looking for. But this isn't a book about mindset so if you're interested in learning more about mindset, I have a free mini course for you at http:// 30everafter.teachable.com.
If you are happy on your own and don't actually need a man to make you feel whole, then chances are that you are ready to take a leap of faith and try online dating.
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