Girls seem to be born lack of safety feeling. So they just struggle to seek for safety feeling themselves. When we talk with friends about safety feeling, we always question what’s the safety feeling of girls? I had seen a saying years ago: “Safety feeling comes from not love but from preference. Only when a girl is sure that she is the unique one and exceptional, will she really feel safe and secure.” Think about it, many couples often quarrel lightly once a week and quarrel seriously once a month. Women quarrel just to confirm that they remain in the same location in their partner’s heart. “Does he still prefer her?”
When you are still single, maybe your safety feeling comes from the money you have. But when you are in a relationship, your safety feeling comes from preference from your partner. A girl will only satisfy when she feels your preference and she will feel very safe.
Qianqian, a good friend of mine said, “In the past, I just feel safe about the balance in the account, various indexes of my body, number of my weight and good skin quality.”
“How about now?”
“Now my safety feeling comes from preference of me from my boyfriend.”
Qianqian had been in a failed relationship which lasted only one month. They ended breaking up without any quarrels. Her ex-boyfriend was a well-known good person who was good at social occasions. He could get on well with anyone. By the time they were together, Qianqian just hoped that they will be like common lovers who would always hold hands in the street, sit in the coach to see movies together or go shopping together in the weekend. However, what frequently happened was that every time they were just going to watch a movie, some girl would call her ex by claiming that she was ill and she needed Qianqian’s ex to send her to hospital. Qianqian’s ex just considered that watching movie was not a priority and left her to find that girl.
Later when Qianqian felt some grievances and she just wanted to end that relationship because she couldn’t feel that she was the unique one in her ex-boyfriend’s eyes. Later she just shared with me that if a woman wanted to live confidently in a relationship, she should always feel herself. It’s not about how excellent a girl is, but about how deeply the other prefer her.
What makes a girl very safe is not respect or equality but being preferred instead. She just want to know whether their partner is going to choose her without any hesitation. And her standard to judge her partner is to see whether he is going to stand beside her confidently and firmly.