The good analogy the book why man don't listen, and women can't read a map talks about how women are like a volume nub, like there is a saying "change women mood, not her mind” and men are like a switch its either on or off; very logical. Have you ever confirmed a date with a girl and she didn't turn up or cancel at last minute, and this is most often because she didn't feel comfortable and you have not built enough connection with her? So when going to ask her for a date don't rush it and also on the flip side don’t just be chatting with her without showing her your intent. Again put yourself on girls shoes or you may have female friends who have this problem too. They like the guy but does not know what to say. So as a guy it is your responsibility to lead, to show intent that you are not here to just chat but to meet up in person to lead the interaction. The best step to show your intent is to add your humor to the text and be cheeky.
Take a step by step approach. Not every girl will be ready to sleep with you after few messages although it depends on the situation and girl's personality. Most common mistake guys make online is they say something like “hey, let’s meet for coffee 4 pm on Friday?” or “What are you doing Saturday want to meet up“ The good thing about this is you are showing intent, but it is a bit too forward unless you know that girl is into you. And if she really wants to see you which is often hard to tell just through messages except the phone conversation where you can tell by her tone of her voice. Therefore, always build a habit of going with a soft close to being on the safe side. So a better close to asking for a date would be discuss this over a coffee/drink sometimes or she asks you something you reply with “I’ll tell you over coffee/drinks”. You notice that this puts girls on less pressure. Now depending on her response, you can adjust. If she gives a negative response, you go back to chatting about a different topic, change her emotions give her value and then go for a soft close later or if she replies with a positive response got for a hard close. Say something like “cool what are you doing this weekend” or "excellent tonight at 6?” Just using this method your chances of going on a date goes up. It’s very shuttle difference, but this could be the difference between a girl seeing you or you having a good time with her. There are few subtle differences between you and a guy who is advanced who's been gaming for decades. It's a subtle little difference like this that gets you laid. In a horse race, the distance between the winning horse and the horse that comes second is about few inches, but that few inches make a lot of difference between the grand prizes.
If a girl is always sending you positive, sexy messages pull the trigger. Don't wait for everything to be perfect. Remember it's not just you, there are lots of other guys online too trying to get her out on a date If you don't pull the trigger, this may tell a girl that you are not the kind of guy she's looking. You are doing great now If you are having a hard time asking her out or not sure how to ask her out as often all it takes is just one blunder in a message, and you lose the girl. Just copy and paste this perhaps we should continue this conversation/banter over a drink/coffee” or “let’s meet for coffee/drink sometimes how does that sound” and over time, you can write your message. My job is to get your foot one the door and over time, your confidence will grow the more dates you go to.
Make a solid plan. It's your time after all and time is something you cann’t reverse. Flaking is very common, so its important to build trust and connection with a girl via phone and messages before asking a girl out on a date.
Exercise
Think about times where your date with a girl got cancelled it last minute or a girl directly said no to your offer on a date. What do you think caused this to happen, i.e. you didn't build enough rapport, offered her value or went for a hard close. Write it down in your journal.
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