Is It A Prophetic Word from God or Dreaming?

Author Doris J. Barnes From Devotionals for Couples—The Complete Spiritual Guide to Find Love and Keep It 6 years ago 8654

“Someone gave me a prophetic word that my future husband lives in a particular city, that I must step out in faith to meet him, and that we’ll have children, which I long for, ” said the letter. I’m very excited and I’m now planning to relocate. This will mean leaving my job and moving to a place where I don't know anyone, but I want to be obedient and it'll be worth it to meet the man God has planned for me.

What could possibly go wrong?

Occasionally, you hear amazing stories about God giving someone a clear word about their future spouse - a miraculous meeting follows, and they go on to have decades of blessed union. However, those stories are unusual enough to be turned into bestselling books. For most of us, life is more down to earth and, while we should be open to God's plans for us, we should exercise judgment, wisdom, and common sense.

I once met an older man who, decades earlier, had been given a word that he was going to marry a woman called Celia. He spent his whole life looking for Celia (and scaring off any Celia, he actually met!). I later heard that he had died still single and still waiting. This false prophesies may have cheated this dear man out of a happy marriage with a woman who was a perfect match for him, because the only thing on his radar was ‘Celia’. How tragic.

It is very easy to be convinced we have had a word from God, and to be carried along on a wave of excitement, especially when it concerns matters of the heart. However, the Bible tells us to test prophesies - and unless strong confirmation comes from more than one source, I believe we should hold them lightly. I've received false prophecies before, and I’ve watched friends make catastrophic decisions based on dubious words from God, only to realize - too late - that they were just wishful thinking.

The same goes for believing you have had a direct word or sign from God. This thing is, we are all vulnerable to feeling that something is meant to be, when the truth is that we just really, really want it. However, if God has a specific plan for you, he will make sure other mature Christians confirm it. That way, you will not end up like one of my friends. She had a crush on this person for years. One day, unexpectedly he wrote her a letter saying God had told him she was his future wife. She was thrilled that her prayers had been answered at last, and they started planning their wedding shortly after, only after they had said ‘I do’ did they discover at not only were they completely incompatible, but they did not even like each other. They and their families did not believe in divorce, so they suffered in silence, living largely separate lives for nearly a decade before finally throwing in the towel.

Oh yes, I could tell many a story about mistaken words from God. There is the woman who has been holding out for five years for a person she barely knows, who she believes is her future husband (meanwhile, he is dating someone else). In addition, there is the woman who is currently engaged to a widower who told her God wants them to marry... while everyone else can see she is walking blindly into an awful, controlling relationship. It is enough to break your heart.

Of coune, truth is stranger than fiction and it would be thrilling if, in a few years' time, my letter-writer came back with a story of meeting Mr. Right in her new city. However, I could never recommend someone uproot their life - geographically or otherwise - unless they have total peace about their decision. God does not need us to move across the country to fulfill his plans - he is more than capable of making our paths cross with our future spouse. Nor should we become fixated on someone being ‘The One’ until we know them well enough to confirm they are a good match. Instead, let us stay open to meeting someone who might not fit the narrative we have imagined, but who may prove to be perfect for us.

Here is an example of 3 letter written by a single, virgin, 30-year-old woman, waiting for her perfect man.

"Dear Single Man,

I am not sure what else to do. I have given you hints. I smile at you when we are around each other. I intently look at you when we are conversing. I giggle at the stupid things you say. I try to make you feel encouraged and supported when you are having a bad day. I have done my part, now it is your turn.

I think the feelings are mutual.

You smile at me from across the room. You eagerly wait to talk to me when I am in a group of other people. You tell me I am a blessing, an answer to prayer. .. What are you waiting for?

The connection I feel with you is unique. My heart hurts when I know you are hurting. You are the person I want to talk to about the good things and the bad. I miss you when I do not get to see you.

Like you... A lot!

If you feel the same way, I need you to show me. Scratch that, I need you to tell me. I need you to use your words and tell me how much I mean to you. I need you to use your words and tell me you care for me. I need you to tell me I am special to you.

Be brave.

Be courageous.

I will not let you down!

I am ready to show you what genuine care and affection look like. I know you want to feel that and I desire so much to be there for you in that way. I want to help raise you up, support your dreams and partner with you as you venture towards God is calling for your life.

I know you can feel the connection we have. Our hearts are linked. Let us make something of this. Let us collaborate for the kingdom. Let us use our gifts to live out God's calling for our lives while supporting each other and growing together towards Christ.

I have given you what you need to take the next step. Do not be afraid, your boldness is attractive. It is exciting to see you pursue what you want. Your pursuit of me will draw me closer to you.”

If you are 30-plus years old, you may remember the 1999 Drew Barrymore movie "Never Been Kissed " For those who have never seen it, here is a synopsis:

Josie Geller is a newspaper copyeditor who's desperate to move up to reporter.

She finally gets the opportunity to show her skills when her boss assigns her to do an undercover story on the local high school scene — at her high school. Josie had been the school nerd and the epitome of awkward and insecure — all good reasons why at 25 years old, Josie Geller had never been kissed. Do not worry though; Josie goes through a transformation and at the end of the movie, she gets not only her first kiss (on a baseball field in front of thousands of people) but also the man of her dreams.


Being a 30-something-year-old within has a stigma attached to it. You are labelled a prude or a Bible banger, and people assume you were either home-schooled or have a wardrobe of strictly long jean dresses, or both.

She has never been home-schooled (and no, I do not have anything against homeschoolers), and her closet is denim-dress free. She is no Josie Grosse either. She does not wear clothes off the runway of New York’s Fashion Week, but have not resorted to a closet full of moo-moos yet. Her hair is not teased, permed, or proofed, but it does have some greys starting to pop through that she keeps trying to hide by parting it differently. She does not trip-over-herself-in-public awkward, although you will never see her wearing white because she can be a bit clumsy.

She is just an average girl with great hair who also happens to be a virgin. She does not deserve any medals or book deals for this accomplishment, but would not mind being rewarded with a bearded fella to call her own. Sure, he would have to put a ring on her finger first to get the goods, but I can assure you the benefits to marrying her far surpass the fact that she had remained a virgin this long.

You may be wondering, in a world obsessed with sex, how have she been able to remain a virgin? Is she some kind of super-Christian? Yes, She even has a cape! But no spandex, because you've heard how upset people get over girls wearing yoga pants ... imagine what they would say about her curve hugging unitary. Shameful!

You caught me — there is no cape. In all honesty, the number one reason she is still a virgin is that she was afraid of her parents. She had a feeling they would just know and that would be the end of her. Fear of disappointing her parents has kept her pants on.

In a way, I am grateful for that fear. It may seem a bit juvenile, and maybe it is, but it kept me from making decisions that I would have regretted later on. There has not been one person I have said no to that I wish I had said yes, after a good nighty sleep and a large iced coffee.

There is nothing extremely holy about that confession though. Sure, I signed a purity pledge back in youth group 15 years ago, but that was the last thing on my mind in the heat of the moment. I would tell you what was on my mind, but we are not running that kind of magazine.

As a single woman, I am aware that there are people who will not even consider dating me because I do not want to have sex before marriage. In addition, I am fine with that. I am not ashamed to be a virgin, except when I am at the doctor's office and I am accused of lying to get out of a pap smear. Alternatively, a few times when people with bruised egos have used that information to make me feel ‘less than’.

If you are a virgin, you are not ‘less than’ ;If you are not a virgin, you are not ‘less than’. Our value is not based on our sexual history or lack thereof. As Christians, our worth is not determined by our actions but based on the gift of love and grace from a redeeming God. If you're a virgin — great job! It is not easy to abstain when every hormone in your body is screaming. If you are not a virgin, I hope you do not feel any judgement coming from me because I have none.

“I’m trying to live out this Christian walk the best way I know how, even when it has been difficult. I believe it has made me stronger as I have faced resistance from social norms and the pleading eyes of attractive men. In the end, I have chosen to remain a virgin because I believe it is the best choice for me. You had best believe that in the meantime I am praying daily for my husband to come along so I can break this fast!”

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