As a relationships and dating coach, I always have readers/ clients/friends asking me to check texts/emails before they send them to a man. They often over analyse what they send, worried that they may sound needy or not show enough interest. If I were to give you my top tip to texting men online, it would be this：
Focus on how the text makes the other person feel.
Too often we think about what words to use, whether our sentences make sense. None of that matters. It's not what you say but HOW you say it. Your words need to create connection.
Let's just say your date bails on you for the 2nd time in a row. You're disappointed and you want to let him know it's not okay.
I often see women approach this situation in two ways:
Tell him straight up that you're disappointed. When he apologises you say something like: “You're bailing again? It's really short notice. I could have made other plans. I wish you hadn't of asked me out if you knew you weren't going to make it”.
You may have spoken your point and communicated your thoughts but the tone and language of the text will easily pull the other person's guard up. When someone is in defensive mode, they will have difficulty comprehending your key messages.
Rather than focusing on him bailing, focus on how his actions make you feel. i.e. It's a shame you have a work thin on again. I undentand your work is important to you bi because we're cancelling another date I feel like your priorities are elsewhere. Do you feel the same?
Why this works:
You're not playing the blame game - just explaining how the circumstance is effecting you. Notice the tone-it comes from empathy and understanding. Asking him how he feels also opens the conversation up so it's not one-sided.
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