Ask yourself this: If you were lined up next to 10 random, single men from your town, what would make you stand out from them? Imagine a woman met all 10 of you in a row. What is there about you that would stop her dead in her tracks and make her say, “wow, this man is unique?” what do you have that they don’t? What can you offer that most other men can’t?
Do you secretly write poetry in your spare time and hit it in your closet? Have you been skydiving three times? Did you climb a glacier in the Alps once? Have you tried eating things like snakes, worms, spiders? What have you done that’s cool and interesting and has shaped you as a person?
What are your rough edges that people can’t find anywhere else? What have you done that will make you stand out in her mind?
To attract quality women you need to be a quality man first. You should learn to develop your character and make yourself stand out. Here are some concepts to keep in mind as you go though your life:
1. Assume everything has a form of value; it’s your job to find it.
Nothing is stupider than to be prejudiced agaisnt a genre of music or type of movie for no other reason than because of some stereotype or preconceived notion about it.
Drop all of this prejudice and adopt this mentality immediately: “there has to be something to this form of art, otherwise it wouldn’t have a following, so I should find out that that something is.” Once you find it, then decide if you like it or not. Whether you like something or not, you should always be able to appreciate it.
2. When expanding your horizons; start with what’s generally considered the best.
Some forms of art will come easily and naturally to you. It takes me literally two seconds to identify rock music that is transcendentally good, or painfully bad. I’ve been listening to it all my life. Country? Classical? Bluegrass? That makes some more time.
Do the same with movies. Watch every movie in IMDB’s list of top 20 movies of all time. Google critics’ top 10 movies of all time lists and watch everything on there. Watch every movie that’s ever won an Oscar for “Best Picture.” That’s a good start.
Now, you may be saying to yourself: “This is all nice, but reading Hemingway or developing opinions on Chaucer or Bach will never get me laid.”
3. Being a well-rounded individual with opinions will expand your demographics by quite a bit. So yes, none of this is necessary if you want to date a woman who has no interesting opinions herself. But if you want to date brilliant, vivacious women with artistic sensibility, passion and class, then a lot of this is a prerequisite.
4. Read as much stories as you can. As what my high school literature teacher always told us: “you read literature because you can never meet enough people.” What I take from this is yes, even though reading hemingway or Milton Frideman’s economic theories may not directly get you laid, what it will do is develop your perspective to be more varied, allow you to be able to relate to more people’s experiences and ideas, and generally have a wider body of knowledge for dealing with people in general.
Believe it or not, Hayek’s economic arguments for libertarianism have influenced my perspectives on dating and relationships for the better. I know that may sound crazy, but it’s true.
Anyone who has read a lot can tell you that the best ideas you tak from a certain book often have nothing to do with the book you read.
Many men have been caged into the same day-to-day grind, wasting away, spending their life doing things they don’t truly enjoy and that don’t truly express their identity and personality.
-they go to work (often at a good job).
-they come home and unwind.
-they watch the typical sports/sitcoms/movies/
-on Fridays/Saturdays, they hang out with the same 3-4 friends.
Often I meet men who don’t even have this much variability and balance in their lives. They’re stuck in 60-to-80-hour-per-week jobs, or they work two jobs, they have absolute no hobbies outside their filling back account.
Now, there’s nothing “wrong” with the above list. It represents about 90% of the male population between the ages of 20 and 40 in the western world.
But again, that’s the point: how are you going to differentiate yourself from the other 90% of men out there?
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