Isn't communication the foundation of a healthy relationship? Isn’t it important to be able to talk to the person you plan to spend your life with frankly, honestly and without inhibitions? Isn’t it vital that your partner be open and talk to you freely about anything under the sun? While you or your partner will obviously not say everything that's going on in your head, there has to be a direct, open and honest communication channel between the two.
Are you open when it comes to discussing your wants and needs with your partner? Do they find it comfortable discussing their requirements with you? Say for instance, they want to enjoy a drink at the bar after work, while you've had a really hard day at work and simply want to stay home and eat take-out. Are you clearly able to express your disinterest in stepping out? It is alright to go with their needs sometimes, but do you constantly see yourself unable to express your desire?
Do not take it for granted that they will read your mind and get upset when they don’t. Are you both able to explicitly state your needs to each other without assuming that you both will, through some strange telepathy, know what the other person is thinking? Does your partner communicate specifically with you or are they vaguer in their communication? Does your partner expect you to understand the subtle hints and cues they give you over implicitly stating what they want?
If you are more direct, forthright and open in your communication, you may have trouble dealing with a person who communicates more indirectly through hints and signs? You may fail to pay heed to the hints, which may lead to bitter arguments.
Rick and his girlfriend Jill are at Rick's office party. They are having a good time, when Jill notices that Rick is laughing hard at a female colleague’s joke and generally acting flirtatious with her. Rick may just view it as harmless socializing with office buddies. Jill sulks about it throughout the evening, hoping Rick will notice and apologize for it. Rick, on the hand, has no clue that Jill is upset and thinks she's probably tired after a long day at work. Jill held the grudge for several days. She expected Rick to pick up the clues, stop doing things that upset her and make-up for it.
When they finally spoke about it, Rick had no clue Jill would be so upset. He thought she understood it was all harmless and in good fun. Both hurled accusations at each other and felt terrible. Wouldn’t it have been easier for Jill to talk about her apprehensions and feelings earlier so Rick could reassure her? Do you or your partner always assume the other will simply understand things without talking?
Comment