Compared with women, men are usually more limited in expressing their emotional feelings. Boys are usually not always encouraged to express their needs, wants and feelings very often, just as a pervasive saying "boys don't cry". Moreover, when a man is encouraged to communicate his needs to his partner, he may be misinterpreted.
Unlike feminine energy gravitates to fullness,intimacy and vulnerability sometimes, masculine energy gravitates towards emptiness and independence. For most men, when they go back from work they just like being able to shut down for a while. As most men feel like they have to be 'on ' at work, they may even feel more comfortable to be able to switch off and enjoy their downtime in peace.From the dichotomy as above, it would cause much stress and tension between a couple if the woman wants discussion and connection while the man wants silence and solitude.To reduce this kind of stress and tension, You'd better learn to respectfully express your needs and establish boundaries.
1.Speak out your words
Most women are naturally mind readers and they can pick up men's facial expressions and vocal inflections mith much mroe relative ease than men.Sometimes it seems that they may be just hearing their partner's thoughts. However, your partner simply can't read your mind in spite that she has the ability to pick up on most of your subleties. But it is an undeniable fact that a woman craves emotional connection with her partner and she can always achieve this through communication. If her communication is momentarily grating to your brain, you must let her know so that you can achieve an acceptable balance.
Your masculine mind often tries to go silent in order to numb itself from your partner's words. This doesn't serve either of you. If you just go quiet and slowly start resenting her in your mind, then you both suffer. She misses out on the emotional connection that she craves, and you don't get the peace and quiet you are momentarily desperate. You must take initiation to talk to her and let her know what is in your head.
You just let her know if you want a few minutes of quiet when you return home from work. You can just let her know if you crave physical touch on a consistent basis.
2. Use words properly
In communication with your partner, you might not want to offent her unintentionally. So just use more words properly.In general condition, the more words you use to express your needs, the better. Because ambiguity may be contained in brevity.
Tell her your needs respectfully in an reassuring tone and be as gentleman as possible.
For example, if you need some time to yourself after work, you could say, "Baby, I can't wait to hear about your day, but I had a really mentally taxing day at work. Do you mind if I just get ten minutes to myself to breathe and mentally land a bit, and then we can catch up? I would so appreciate that."Or if you desire her touch, you could tell her, "Few things make me feel more loved and cared for then when you touch me when we aren't about to have sex. Yesterday when you came up and started rubbing my shoulders while I was at my computer I was so happy, would absolutely love it if you could do things like that more often. It makes me feel really connected to you."
3.Express your needs continuously
No relationship will develop automatically.Your need for independence and her need for intimacy will always be a balancing act. There are some days where you will feel crowded and you will need to take some solitude time for yourself and other days where she will feel disconnected from you and will need some time to catch up.Therefore, to balance a healthy,intimate long-term relationship, you'd better learn to express your needs properly and continusly. Men are socially cultivated with a belief that relying on others is a sign of weakness and that to show the cracks in our armor is a bad thing. By understanding and verbalizing each partner's motivation in any given moment, you can understand her needs and your own needs with much more charity.
Understanding for each other will avoid conflicts and fights. Even if you may feel a little scary, communication on needs and desires within your relationship can benefit you and you're used to pushing different areas in your life,thus, your life quality will greatly be promoted. By effectively expressing your needs, you can push yourself to a more comfortable way.
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