When you are with your partner or spouse for a long time, it is possible that you will forget your individual dreams and interests. As discussed earlier, you may already share an identity with your spouse. When this happens, you will become frustrated, and that frustration will be the fuel of your contempt and loss of interest in your partner. Therefore, it is of great importance to acknowledge and pursue your own interest to love yourself.
While it is important for you and your partner to have some similar interests and hobbies, it is even more important to have your own. There are so many benefits to having your individual interests and aspirations. Firstly, it keeps your daily life fresh and engaging. Whether you take a painting class, or you are writing a novel, you are taking a break from the monotony of daily life and doing something that excites you. While it may seem that leaving your spouse by themselves for a while might not be the best idea, having your own interests could be a great way to talk about new things. You could discuss what you are learning or how your hobby makes you feel, whether you are exercising or creating something with your hands. Your spouse or partner could learn something from what interests you and who knows, maybe they’ll be inspired to pick up a new hobby of their own.
Another reason why having individual dreams and interests is crucial is that it can make you a more passionate person. Think about what you love to do or think of someone who eats, sleeps, and breathes something important to them. It could be volunteer work, competitive dancing, or discovering new recipes. You know they are passionate about it because the emotions they feel about it radiate off of them. Their happiness is contagious and inspiring. Find something that makes you feel like this, find an interest that makes you want to get up and do it every day. This will relay into other areas of your life, including your marriage. If you are enthusiastic about the things that interest you, it will be easier to be enthusiastic about your relationship. You’ll want to feel happy and euphoric about as much of your life as possible. This sort of mindset is infectious and if you are positive it could cause your partner to want to reciprocate. This passion for your interests could also cause you to feel passionate in other ways that might have gone dormant. Having a hobby could bring the spice and the spark back to your marriage, so go for it!
Having a hobby can give you serious self-confidence especially if it’s something you are good at. While this doesn't mean that you should be an expert or be at everything you do, you should embrace the thing that make you feel proud of yourself. Maybe you naturally gifted, or you feel contented with how you have worked in an activity. Your life wouldn't be the same if you didn't have these accomplishments. The same can be said for your relationship, surely there are elements of your relationship that gives you confidence? Are you a good listener? Do you take partner’s quirks in stride? Try to make the comparison between how you feel when you excel in your interests and how you feel when you excel in your interests and how you feel when things are positive with your partner. If you find yourself having a hard time making that connection, don't worry. Having confidence in yourself can help you talk with your spouse or partner, or even show them how wonderful and exciting you are. They could become intrigued by “what makes you tick” and want to see this version of you more often.
Dreams and aspirations are important because they give you goals to work towards. Maybe you would like to run a marathon someday, or maybe you want to change the life of underprivileged children by becoming a mentor for them. Regardless of what interests you; goals are great. They motivate you, and they give you something to work towards, and they make you accountable. You accomplish your dreams or goals, or there is a reason why they don’t work out. Once again, you can apply this to your relationship. Make a goal to tell your significant other that you love them at least once a day. Promise yourself that you will take the time to make them smile and remember why they fell in love with you in the first place. These little goals can eventually become part of larger goals. Perhaps you’ll want to make healthier life choices to improve the quality of both your lives. Maybe make an effort to take your partner out somewhere fun. Think of how wonderful you’ll both feel as these goals are accomplished. It’s okay if completing these objectives takes time, if you are trying your hardest, your partner will see your efforts. It’s better to try and struggle at something than never attempt it all. This can be said about hobbies, so why not a relationship?
Having interests and hobbies can inspire those around you. If your spouse or partner is seeing that a new or favorite activity is having such a positive effect on you, it may make them stop and think. It’s giving you a renewed vigor, and it’s forming you into a better version of yourself. If you are showing a willingness to try new things in life and in a relationship, maybe this can also encourage your partner to put in extra effort as well. A relationship is a two-way street, and if they see you trying your hardest to make things work, they may be persuaded to do the same.
Having something that you aspire towards, gives your life meaning, in the previous example of a competitive dancer, if she wants to be the best that she can possibly be it requires practice, it requires dedication, and it requires discipline. If she is passionate about dancing and is willing to do what it takes to see her dreams fulfilled, it becomes a part of who she is. Knowing what that feels like, she can apply that sense of purpose to other areas of her life and so can you. Think of the things that make you want to better yourself, that you think gives your life meaning. The same can be said of your relationship. It takes work, but the results of feeling more in love with your partner are worth it.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe part of the reason things are troublesome in the relationship is because you are lacking independence and individuality; because you are spending large amounts of time together. While it’s great to spend time with each other, if you are focused on doing your own thing every now and again, your partner may have a greater appreciation of the time that they do spend with you - You may also find new things to talk about, and it could encourage you to break away from the day-to-day routine. Spending time apart could also benefit you, in the sense that the interests that you do share could become more meaningful because you aren't doing these hobbies and activities together as often.
Take time to think of activities you want to do on your own, such as training for a marathon or attending a yoga class. It’s never too late to find something that excites you and makes you happy. When you do the things you love, you become whole as a person. When you feel whole and when you feel you are retaining your individuality, it is easier for you to fall in love with your partner again. The sense of purpose, independence, and individuality is also sexy. When you have a strong sense of purpose, you will become more interesting to your partner. When you are doing what you love, you bring a certain positive vibe and energy to the relationship and it will help reignite the dwindling heat and passion. Positivity is contagious and can cause your partner to want to rekindle the flame as well.
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