Love is not a mere feeling. When you feel that your love for your partner is fading, maybe you have stopped doing loving things. Love, above all, is a verb. It is an action word. When you love someone, it is not enough that you feel it, you also have to show it.
It is easy to complain about the things that you do not like in your spouse or partner. It is easy to criticize your partner. But to rekindle your relationship and reawaken the love and affection that you have for your partner, you also have to look inside yourself and reassess your behaviors and character. Do you have some basic beliefs about marriage, relationships, or your partner that could be feeding the difficulties and problems you currently have in your relationship?
While it is perfectly normal for you not to have the same beliefs or opinions as your partner or spouse, some topics probably are considered hot button issues. Is one you more religious than the other? Perhaps you are two separate religions or is one of your questioning your faith? If you are not on the same page, or this view has changed since you first started your reltionship, this can cause tension. This sense of stance or point of view can also apply to how you and your spouse or partner feel about having children or parenting them. It could even affect the relationships you have with others outside of your relationship. Maybe you or your partner is having trouble feeling loved this relationship because they are worried that that they don’t please you, or they are curious to know what else out there. These are all serious areas of subject matter that you must both think about and address.
You have to communicate. Just like you made a point to tell your significant other how you felt about them, you need to do the same about these topics. Why do they feel the way they feel and if it has changed since you originally got together can they tell you why? If your spouse or partner is feeling vulnerable about your relationship to the point where they are having thoughts of seeking out others, or maybe they are accusing you of doing something similar, assure them otherwise. Is this something that you can find middle ground on? In the example of children, maybe one of you isn’t ready to have children yet, but maybe you would be willing down the road once you are more financially stable or have had time to enjoy being together on your own without even more responsibilities.Let your spouse or partner know that you still love and support them even if they are becoming more or less religious, want to try difference approaches to raising your children or any other sort of situation that might be difficult for you both to agree on at first.
Actions speak louder than words. That can easily apply to the idea that love is a verb. To love someone is to try your hardest to show them what they mean to you. To love someone is to attempt to put their happiness before their own. To love someone means working hard to make a relationship work. While you need to listen to your partner with these difficulties and problems, you must show your love in regards to your spouse or partner's feelings as well. Are they afraid that they haven't had enough experiences with other people and are now feeling trapped in a relationship? Do they feel jealous or concerned that you are not showing them enough attention and that you might be interested in someone else? Show them how you truly feel. While you can assure them with promises, it means so much more if you get rid of those doubts by being a more attentive lover than ever. Give them a no reason to worry about another person.
In regards to religion or life changes, support them. You don't have to change your beliefs yourself, but commend them for their efforts, participate if you are comfortable and show them that these changes will add more variety to your relationship. If you and your Partner are working out the finer points of parenting or becoming parents, show patience and remain involved. Help them with their parenting ideas, help him or her follow through. If something doesn't work out when you are taking care of your child, kindly offer suggestions of what could work instead. In regards to having children, show your respect if they aren't quite ready but if you notice a moment that your partner seems interested in motherhood or fatherhood someday you could make it a positive experience by complementing them or assuring them of your support.
Couples do not stop being in love with each other. What couples do is they stop acting in love. Because they do not act in a loving way, feelings often start to fade away. It becomes easy to forget to show love to your spouse when you become wrapped up in other things. You just assume that they know that you love them. Somewhere along the line, you become like friends or roommates because you aren't professing your love anymore. Just like you need to eat; sleep, and breathe, a person needs to be shown attention and affection. Just because you are in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you have to stop acting like you love each other, if anything, you want to act more in love than ever. You both should feel happy and lucky that the other loves you and wants to be with you!
If you want to be in a happy relationship, you have to take a good look at your character. You have to check if you have all the qualities that you want in a partner. See, if you are falling out of love with your spouse or your partner, maybe your partner is not the only one who is at fault here. Maybe you have certain negative beliefs about your partner, about love, about relationships and about marriage. If you want to be in a happy relationship or a happy marriage, you have to be the kind of person who vibrates warm and positive energy. Life can be hard. It can be so easy to get down about things if you aren't where you want to be financially or if you have goals that you think should already be achieved that aren't yet. You can’t let yourself get down and become negative because that will impact other areas of your lifee including your relationship. It's possible that your negativity could be a reason as to why things are no longer the same as at the beginning o yourrelationship. Maybe you thought that all the quirks that your spouse or partner had back when you met would be fixed by now and they're not, and you feel like you failed them or that your significant other isn’t trying. Maybe you thought that being in a marriage wouldn't change your life very much, and yet you that your old life has vanished and the responsibilites of your new life are not as thrilling as you’d hoped. You have to try to find the positives. Negativity is like cancer or a black, dark vortex that grows and grows if you don’t find a way to get rid it. You are alive, and you have a spouse or partner that loves you and wants to be with you. That alone is a reason to be happy. If you turn all those negative points into positive ones you find a reason to be happier and your relationship will become happier too.
Just like you made a list of all the great things about your partner or spouse, do the same for yourself. Are you a great listener? Do you think you are really great at surprising your significant other and making them happy when you find them the perfect gift or take them for a fun night out? Write down as many things as you can to remind yourself of how awesome you are. That will encourage you to be happy and positive. Remember, love is a verb. So all of those things that you think you do well in your relationship? Do them. Shower your spouse with attention, hold their hand when they need a reminder of your support. Give them that compliment when they look great. Show your partner or spouse what you have to offer.
Remember the golden rule. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. If you want your partner to be kinder to you, show kindness to your partner, if you want passion in your relationship, be a passionate partner. If you want your partner to listen to you, listen to your partner often. If you want your partner to be loving, be a loving partner. This is so easy to do, and there is nothing negative that can come from putting yourself out there and setting the example. Maybe your partner has been wanting to be passionate or more affectionate around you but is afraid to because they don’t think that you care or will reciprocate. By taking the high road or setting the tone, they will know that you feel the same way, and your relationship will burn anew because you want to be constantly pleasing and taking care of one another.
Love is not just some feeling, it is not just electricity you feel in your veins. Love is not just about your heart beating fast when you are with your spouse or your partner. Love is caring for your partner when he/she is sick. Love is making your partner breakfast and kissing him/ her before you both leave for work. Love is about saying kind words, even when you feel angry and annoyed. Love is making time for your partner. Love is giving your partner a gift that you know he/she would like. Love is about appreciating your partner.
Again, love is a verb and doing little random acts of love is sure to rekindle your affection and love for your partner. Love takes work and by no means is it easy, but the feeling of knowing that you are providing happiness for another person and that they, in turn, want to be with you is worth the effort.
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