Jealousy Sometimes Reflects One's Inadequacy

Author Sofia Price From Jealousy: How To Overcome Jealousy, Insecurity and Trust Issues- Save Your Relationship, Love Life and Emotions (5th Edition) 7 years ago 9367

Most people who experience jealousy are in fact inadequate in some way. If you think of all the negative traits of a human being, these are the things that make one less valued and jealousy is the number one negative feeling that cuts you down to size. It makes you less valuable than you really could be. Jealousy resulting from inadequacy can make you look foolish and it also alienates people who love you because they will question what it was that they loved about you, while all you bring to their lives is inadequacy and jealousy. Let's analyze some scenarios to check how jealousy sometimes reflect one's inadequacy.


Scenario one:

Man: I am jealous because he is better looking than me.

Analyze:There's nothing you can do to change him, but you can change how you look and learn to be happy with what God sent you. Surface jealousy about looks isn't even worth the thought process and negativity that goes into it. Being jealous of someone who looks better than you is stupidity. They look that way as they just look that way while they don't look better than you in order to make you feel jealous. It's your own inadequacy that needs to be dealt with. What's it really matters when it comes to love is that love isn't just about looks. There is a depth to character that matters a lot more. To check a person' character, you can ask yourself, "is he kind?" or "is he inteliggent?" or "does he feel depth of emotions?" and you may find that he fails on those important aspects. Then you'll find that looking at someone and judging the situation based on looks is sheer stupidity.


Scenario two:

Sister: I am jealous of my sister because my parents love her more.

Analyze: Even if your parents decide that they love one child more than another, it's not actualy something to be jealous about. Under such situation, your parents have an inadequacy. They don't know how to treat their children in an equal manner. Instead of jealousy toward your sister, imagine how your poor sister feels being singled out for blame when all of this happened because of your parents' inadequacy. You can't make people love you more. What you need to is to accept who you are and be stronger for it. They may grow to respect you for the person you have become but they certainly won't appreciate you acting in a jealous way. Actually, jealousy achieves nothing. It won't make you more loved and won't change the home situation. You just need to grow up and realize that being jealous solves nothing at all.


Scenario three:

Husband: I am jealous that you talk to other men.

Analyze: Again, this is pointless jealousy. If your wife is inclined to seek other men, nothing you do or say will stop the inevitable from happening. However, it sounds very much like it's your inadequacy that is the problem. You don't like yourself that much and you doubt in the back of your mind that you deserve your wife's love. Thus, you restrict who she sees in the hope that this will stop the bad feelings you get inside. You need to sit down and discuss these with a psychologist or with your wife in a calm way and learn to love and respect yourself. Once you do, you won't question her anymore and you will be glad that it's you she comes home to every night through choice and through her love for a more complete person.This kind of jealousy relationship can kill the relationship stone dead.


Scenario four:

Man: I am jealous of his ability to impress the boss.

Analyze: If you display such jealousy, you distance yourself even further from ever impressing anyone. Learn from what you see. Your own inadequacies are holding you back and jealousy will gain you nothing but a bad reputation in the world of business. Being a sour grape wouldn't get you a promotion. Instead, the ability to learn by example would. What you really need to do is to learn what it takes to impress your boss. Smart people celebrate other people's success instead of being jealous of it and ask for pointers that will help them to achieve the same level of success.


Scenario five:

Child: I am jealous because Mike has a better bike than me.

Analyze: Although a child won't have a fully developed sense of jealousy, this feeling is creeping in. Mike has a better bike because he worked two paper rounds and sold his old toys to get it. Instead of being jealous of what other people have, congratulate them and ask them how they managed to get it. You may learn something and you may just be able to achieve your heart's desire. Perhaps there is some way you can save up and have the same thing, but if you let jealousy take over and don't make any attempt to achieve the things people you are jealousy of have achieved, you will always be a loser.

Your life's ambitions, the things that you want in life and the things you hold dear are all potentially possible. You have to start by believing in you. If you don't believe in your own abilities to get those things or to work toward hapiness, jealousy isn't going to help you. In fact, it will hold you back from being an achiever. If you want something that someone else has, work toward achieving it and show the world that you're an achiever, not a moaner. Instead of holding other people responsible for your unhappiness, take the reins in your life and start to get the things that you want for yourself. Meanwhile, admiring the things that your frineds have and giving them confidence may indeed help you win more good friends.

Nearly everyone has limitations and inadequacies in certain aspects. Instead of being jealous, which is a very stupid attitude, as people in the scenarios stated as above,to be a wise person, you can choose to deal with your inadequacies in a more reasonable and smarter way.


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