The first response we generally have under a painful experience is to have bad emotions such as annoying, angry, fear, envy, hate and even despair. No matter how hard you’re in the moment and this hardship makes you extremely painful, try to motivate yourself with painful experiences.
We’re destined to lose and face with death since we were born. Painful experiences in one’s life may involve situations as below:
Losing of a kind relative.
Someone in your life suddenly is checked to suffer from severe disease.
Betraying of a beloved one.
Losing a job due to bad economic background or your bad luck.
All those situations as above are indeed extremely bad situations which will cause us to suffer from severe pain at the beginning. However, you can change your painful experiences by doing something. But what kind of attitudes we have towards life greatly depends on us ourselves. You can choose to be grieving all the time and never step forward. Or you can choose to leave it past and start to do something in the moment to make a change to your life and give yourself a second chance and a third chance. Continuing life is all about giving yourself a first chance, a second chance and a third chance... Your life journey would come to an end if you just block yourself out from any motivations or chances.
People who are able to motivate themselves with painful experiences are more attractive. They are always confident and calm in dealing with problems. And he is even humorous when I am facing with my problems or difficultives with an annoying attitude. Such a good quality of Peter is one of the greatest reasons why he attracts me and I choose him as my husband. His confident and calm way is not born natively but learned by him from his previous painful experiences and love he had gained from people around him. At his teenage time, his father was checked to suffer from a severe disease and was stuck into bed for more than a year before death. He revealed to me that it was very painful to him and this torturing experience had made ever made him doubted about meaning of life. When his grandfather died one year later, continuing his father’s passing away, he almost become numb. And in his rebellious stage, he was always silent. However, he still clearly remembered his father’s humors and masculine behaviors and shares with me about that often. He just had become more independent and realized the importance of studying hard. He went through his college life time smoothly with help of his mother, some financial loan and his part-time job as a private teacher. After working for about two years since graduation from college life, he was enrolled into a better university for his graduate study and finally gained his master degree.
Most boys born in the late 1980s in Asia countries still depend much on their parents. Their parents still need to help them on their study and build a home of their on. Comparatively speaking, Peter is more independent and hard-working. Now he often behaves confidently and humorously even when I talk with him about some bad experiences he had ever went through.
If you’re in a painful state at the moment, calm yourself down first and motivate yourself with the current painful experience rather than be stuck in it with despair. Calm yourself down with peace means that you should be in the midst of all those things while remaining calm in your head and strong in your heart. Letting go the painful experience doesn’t mean that you doesn’t care about something or someone anymore but that you should realize that the only thing you really have control over is yourself in the current moment. When you let go of something, you will look at the situation with fresh eyes, an open mind and is always ready to take the next step.
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