You can imagine the case scenarios as below. Think for a while to consider which you will choose.
•A guy works late because his boss expects it of him.
•His girlfriend assumes that he has a mistress.
•She confronts him with the news.
It turns out he was working late to try and buy her a birthday present.
In a case such as this, all that is left is regret. He will regret ever wanting to buy her anything nice.She will regret opening her mouth and voicing her opinion.
Now try this scenario:
•He works later than normal.
•She prepares a super super for him.
•He comes home and they make love in front of the fire.
He appreciates her because she works hard too. She appreciates him because she knows how hard he has to work. He wants to come home because she's positive,lively and loves him. She gets great satisfaction from the situation because she knows that he doesn't want anyone else. If you want to put restrictions onto relaitonships, you will actually stifle them and even the strongest relationships may not be able to survive jealousy.
Like many existing psychological problems people experience, jealousy is driven by our imaginations. If you channel it positively, jealousy is a good thing. It becomes bad once it starts messing your head. Some individuals draw on their imaginations to think and do good things. Drifting towards the make-believe is destructive in all relationships. You could think about what your imagination will play into your head when your partner comes home usually late from work. For example, thoughts as below may arise:
•You begin to imagine him having a leisurely drink with someone you saw in his workplace one time.
•You become upset,angry and frightened that without any evidence in your hands, your imagination might be real after all and it then goes on further.
•Your thoughts may start chanting many "what ifs". If you dance to that tune, your mind will suddenly be filled with so many negative things that shouldn't be there in the first place.
You can only imagine where your imagination will take you. If you make an effort to stop getting all emotional and crazy just because your jealousy played you using your imagination, then you'll come out strong. You'll also come out one step closer to regaining the upper hand over all your jealous tendencies.
You should use your imagination positively instead and gradual you'll feel better,not worse. You should close your eyes, ease your mind and think of nothing else. You just imagine the scenario that brings out your jealous feelings. You should imagine whether the scenario is about your partner going out and being all smiles with someone else? Is the scenario you see your partner chatting and laughing with another person?
After imaging the scenarios, you could start some deep breathing. Just imagine yourself slowly by looking focused and calm meanwhile and you should show no interest whatsoever in the scenario in front of you. Such a calm and deep breath will encourage you to believe that ultimately you only have yourself to answer to and no one else. Only you can control yourself.
Think about how your partner made you jealous and act on it by responding with a rather calm detachment instead of fueling your jealousy. The more you do this and become more comfortable with it, the less your life will be shrouded in jealousy.
Your should fully take use of your extra time because it's highly time you can do what you want to do. It's the extra time that you can actually enjoy yourself. Stop seeing spending extra time as negative. If you want his approval and attention, you should enjoy your time on your own and when he comes back into your day, be happy to share that part of the day with him.
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