Are You Always too Independent to Endanger His Three Pillars of Manhood?

There’s nothing inherently wrong with being Miss Independent. In this day and age a woman who can handle her own business communicates confidence and capableness to a high-quality man, both of which are extremely attractive qualities. However, as with everything else in life, be careful of slipping into extremism. Being “too” independent communicates something else to a man: That you don’t need him!

The three pillars of manhood are to procreate, to protect, and to provide. If you decide that you don’t need a man for even just one of those pillars, as long as he’s with you he will feel as if something is missing in his life.

But let’s be practical for a minute.

If you had a difficult life for example, and thus trained yourself to be strong and independent, your reality might be that you simply don’t need a man to provide for you. If you’re strong on your own financilaly, there’s no reason to be ashamed of or to feel as if it could be detrimental to your future with men.

The problem here however, is when you either have unrealistic expectations (like wanting to find a man who can beat your six figure income) or you resist it when a man wants to take care of you. If a man is able to do so, he will enjoy the burden of providing for you. Even if you’re quite capable of providing for both you and him, do not deprive him of this desire if he’s clearly showing an interest in taking care of you in some form or fashion.

Let’s talk about the pillar of protection for a second. What if you’ve had military training and you’re a better protector than most men? That’s fine. But there will still be situations in which he will want to show you his mettle. For example, let’s say you decide to go camping together and a big, old grizzly bear suddenly shows up. Most men would place themselves between a threat like this (physical danger) and their loved ones, regardless of who’s the most experienced defender. Of course, if you’re some kind of bear whisperer that’s another thing altogether. But I think you get my point.

Give him room to fulfill his naturally hard-wired roles a a man. A good man wants to cultivate a life with a woman who is willing to be interdependent with him. In the same way a woman desires to feel desired, a man needs to feel needed. A good man, one who revels in his masculinity, will love and cherish you for allowing him the opportunity to bear the burdens that come with being born a male.