If you’ve read any of my other books, you’ve probably heard me harp on how important reliability is to a high-quality man, which is why guys like this cannot tolerate flaky behaviour (in women or other men). But in case you haven’t read any of my other books, I’ll touch on this subject once more for your benefit.
First of all, let’s define the term.
A “flake” is basically someone who doesn’t follow through. They are major procrastinators, highly reliable, and nearly incapable of keeping their word. The major factor in determing whether or not a flake will actually follow through is based on his or her mood at the time or the urgency of the need to act. In short, flakes make terrible friends and disastrous partners (both in love and in business) to those unfortunate enough to rely on them.
Now, you may be asking yourself: “Why would Bruce devote so much time to this character flaw?” Excellent question, my dear! I’ll tell you...
Female flakiness is perhaps the most widerspread of unattractive dating habits men have to deal with when interacting with women. Therefore, when a man comes across a woman who keeps her word no matter what, she immediately stands out amongst her peers. Add to this the fact that habitual flaky behaviour means that a woman is more concerned with how she feels at the expense of others. Having such a low level of interest in how her actions affect those around her, she illustrates a deep lack of empathy. And in the eyes of a mature, masculine man, a woman with a lack of empathy represents all that is opposed to mature womanhood.
Now, to be sympathetic, my experience and observations with flakiness usually informs me of serveral things:
1. A woman is not that interested in a man and chooses to communicate it through low-integrity behaviors.
2. She struggles with a fear of abandonment and thus acts in a way that will help her to maintain “control” in a relationship; meaning that she’ll never be “all in” with a potential suitor, or...
3. Her attention and loyalty to a man is directly related to this outward displays of wealth/status or lack thereof.
How do these underlying attitudes play out in a dating scenario? Here’s a few of the most common examples of flaky behavior a woman might unknownly display when interacting with men:
She breaks off contact with a man who begins showing her serious interest for fear of being abandoned.
She disappears or does not respond in a reasonable amount of time when communicating with a man, and does not give a valid explanation for doing so.
She breaks dates on short notice without suggesting a future date to make up for it.
She arrives unreasonably late and gives off an attitude of indifference towards her tardiness.
She defends her flakiness with the belief that she “owes no man anything” or that she’s a free spirit who can “do as she pleases”, even after the guy she’s dating had made a significant investment of love and loyalty towards her.
She does not follow through on her word and usually gives a dishonest excuse for doing so. That is, if she cares enough to provide an excuse at all.
These are just the tip of the iceberg, but it should get you thinking in the right direction. The underlying problem with behaviors like the ones listed above is that the more a woman chooses the path of least resistance, the stronger the bad habit becomes until she no longer realizes that her conduct has become odious to high-quality men. No matter what happens in your interactions with a man, you can either choose to be a woman of high-integrity (thereby increasing your intrinsic value over time) or you can choose the path of least resistance.
For example, let’s analyse the first behavior I’ve previously listed. If a woman is not that interested in a man, she has the choice of forming a good habit (forthrightness) or a bad one (flakiness). If she chooses the latter, instead of displaying high integrity by gracefully letting the gentleman know that he’s no longer a factor of romantic importance, she’ll simply ignore him or respond to him when there’s nothing else more important going on for her. I understand that many women do this to avoid confrontation or directly hurting the guy’s feelings, but the loss of interest is translated into flaky behavior that inevitably leavess behind a bitter memory in the minds of most men.
The end result from these experiences is that it causes experienced, mature men to adevelop a sero tolerance policy for ALL types of female flakiness. Astute, high-quality men especially will have little to do with a woman that seems flaky so as to avoid ending up looking like a perpetual idiot.
Therefore, to avoid being perceived as a flake, it would be in a woman’s best interest to ensure that all of her interactions with men communicate high-integrity, authenticity, and most importantly, respect. Develop the habit of being gracious with the men you come across and thoughtful of their egos, even if men in question do not deserve it. This alone will seperate you from most other women, as your characteristic courtesy, politeness, and sense of honour towards men will earn you their respect and adoration. Yes, not all men will deserve your kindness, but resolve to be the better woman if you want to end up with a better man.
Every high-quality man who’s looking to date a woman for love and marriage is going to evaluate your behavior with this thought in mind: “Can I really rely on this woman?” Men like this want to know without a shadow of a doubt that they can count on you to be there when you said you would and that you’ll follow through on your promises and commitments...regardless of how you feel. They want to know that you are the best woman they can possibly find to play the role of a supportive first mate to their devoted captain.
Therefore, as I’ve already established in the introduction, securing the love and commitment of a high-quality man who’s ready for a serious relationship means that you’re going to have to set a higher standard for yourself in this area. If you want to be with a man worth dating, become a woman worth keeping - one who’s known for keeping her word...regardless of how she feels.
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