We’ve explored a bit about the differences between men and women, but before we dive into how these differences can unsuccessfully show up on a date, let’s spend some time talking about masculine vs. feminine energy in our every-day lives.
Masculine energy manifests in the hunter, creator, and get-things-done energy. Feminine energy is nurturing, pleasing, and helping energy. You may be used to playing both mom and dad, a situation that allow you to access your feminine energy when loving on and mothering your kids, and your masculine energy when you're disciplining them.
You need masculine energy to produce results at work, and because you are most likely working and completely in charge of your household, out of necessity, you may actually spend more time in your masculine energy than in your feminine energy. Masculine energy can mean the difference between being successful and very successful in your career. Any time you compete, look for a raise, fight your boss, ask for the deal, or make progress on something, you're in your masculine energy.
That's great because masculine energy is the energy we all need to get things done, but it's not so great when you are attempting to go on a date!
When I was a single, dating mom, I was so used to being in my masculine all the time, but I didn’t even realize I was doing it on my dates! Every thing depended upon Plan A working out, and I was the engine of Plan A. I spent all day producing the result of making a life for my daughter and all evening producing the result of raising a great daughter. I probably slept in masculine energy! Great for producing the results I wanted, but not so great for finding a life partner.
When you go on a date, you may tend to take that same masculine energy with you that helps you get things done without you realizing that is what is happening. When the man you're on a date with is trying to flirt with you, and you have a lot of masculine energy, you can end up going into an interrogation mode. You will, out of habit, talk to him the same way you would talk when you’re trying to negotiate a business deal. You’ve left your feminine energy at home, which is not the best strategy for ensuring the date goes Well.
So what does feminine energy look like on a date? Feminine energy is dressing so that you feel sexy, flirting with the guy, leaning in when he talks, and looking directly into his eyes. It's showing your softer, more vulnerable side. It’s authentically sharing of yourself and about yourself so you can create the connection you're born to make. It's letting him be in control and you enjoy the time you' re spending together. It's you being relaxed, happy, and feeling fully alive.
Smile; show him you're interested. Give him the dues that you're interested and allow him to pick up on them and take the lead. Let him do his thing and be the man. He will love this latitude, and if it turns out he’s the right man for you, he will probably love you for all of the things you do to make him feel like a man!
You're Not the Hunter
A woman in her full feminine energy doesn't do the chasing; she's the chased. She's the prize. Now, I know you can tell a man if you like him; it’s the 21st Century for Pete's sake, but remember this, we are wired in certain ways and going agains your biology just sets you up to fail.
Everytime you take action, he feels your masculine energy coming at him. Masculine receives masculine as a challenge, and they either challenge back or retreat into their feminine.
Have you ever seen a feminine man and a masculine woman together? Bill and Hillary, anyone? Need I say more?
Yes, I do. Your role is not to lead the charge, make all of the decisions, or be the hunter. You’re the receiver, and your date is wired to do what he can to make you happy.
Please don’t mistakenly think that I am suggesting that you become passive and submissive. I am actually saying the opposite. A big part of feminine energy is being open, having an open heart, and being open to receive. A woman fully in her feminine is also a woman fully in touch with her power. Trust me, when I say that feminine energy is actually the most powerful energy in the Universe.
A feminine woman is the decision maker in terms of choosing the man by whom she wants to be willing, at times, to be led. Being feminine is allowing yourself to surrender and be full of your womanly self in appropriate moments.
How do you go about developing your feminine energy, and feel amazing and sexy in your own skin? A lot of what I would suggest was already covered in Chapter 4, where I made a great argument for falling madly in love with you. Having this unfailing self-love will get you noticed so much more, and you will also start to have a lot more fun in your dating life.
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