When you cultivate your own personal values, dreams, and desires, you maintain your sense of self. While on the surface this may appear selfish, it's really a wonderful way to re-establish the full and rewarding marriage you hope for. When you do this, you're in a better position to give all of the beautiful gifts you have to offer to your relationship when you spend time as a couple. Here are seven tips for nurturing and maintaining your unique sense of self.
1.Quiet Time - spend An Evening by Yourself.
Make sure when you’re spending time alone that you pick activities that engage you or make you feel good. If you’ve been waiting to get your hands on a particular book, take a few minutes now and schedule time to buy and read it. Regular quiet time at home enjoying a good book, meditating, or any other solitary activity without any interruptions can energize you and bring new life into your relationship.
2.Be Yourself - Don’t Become Your Partner.
Go places that you’ve wanted to go but haven’t done so be cause your partner wasn’t interested. Watch a movie you’ve wanted to see, visit that museum with the interesting exhibit or take those dance lessons you've always been curious about.
Don't deny yourself something you want to experience just because your partner does’t share your interest. Pay attention to new things that stimulate your interest and then follow through by scheduling the time to experience these new things in your life on a regular basis.
3.Family Matters-Visit Your Family.
Often, when we we’re married, we forget to take the time to visit family. If you have a strong supportive family background, spending time with your family can help you keep these relationships strong. Strong family ties remind us that we belong to a loving community - one that is with us whether we’re in a romantic relationship or not. Having this foundation of the support that family provides is a critical element in building a strong relationship with your spouse. The confidence this offers can go a long way in helping you make it through the hard times that may occur in your marriage.
4.Friends Matters-don't Let Your Yriends Pall by the Wayside.
In the same "way that family matters, friends also can provide an important source of support when you need it. They also provide that opportunity to be yourself that we mentioned earlier. Spending time with your friends allows you to let loose and express yourself, without worrying about how you’re coming across to your spouse.
5.Do What You Love - Continue Being Involved in What You Love to Do.
If you’re a golfer and your partner isn’t, there’s no reason you shouldn’t take time for a round of golf. If you like to sew, spend a day doing that. Just because your partner finds it boring, doesn't mean you should also find it boring. If it was fun for you before then it’s almost guaranteed it will still be fun for you now.
6.Feel Good - Pamper Yourself!
You may have noticed it’s impossible to feel good about other people if you don’t feel good about yourself. Feeling good is an important source of energy that you can direct toward improving your relationship. So make sure that you do things on a regular basis that make you feel good. Enjoy a bubble bath or soak in the whirlpool. Get a massage. When you make yourself feel good you get re-energized for the next time you and your partner are together.
7.Know Yourself - Identify What You Value Most.
Getting in touch with who you are at that core level will allow you to maintain your ability to give. If you’ve completed the Values Exercise in the Appendix of this book, you’re already getting an idea of what you truly value in a specific area of your relationship.
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