In Anthony Browne’s Piggy Book, there is a story of a family: mother Mrs. Zhu is tired for doing various housework everyday while father Mr. Zhu and the son just do nothing. The father and son often urge Mrs. Zhu to prepare breakfast as early as possible. After her husband goes to work and her son goes to school, Mrs. Zhu begins to wash the dishes, sort the bed, clean the carpet and then goes to work. Then the father and the son begin to urge Mrs. Zhu again to cook supper as soon as possible. Then after supper she continues to do housework while the father and children lazily sit in the sofa. Someday Mrs. Zhu can’t bear so much housework anymore and leave home. Then the father and children live a life in a mess without Mrs. Zhu at home. Then they asks Mrs. Zhu to come back home as soon as possible and then they begin to share housework together. Is Mrs. Zhu’s marriage a happy marriage?
Mrs. Zhu’s family is just a reflection of many families.
In the work Intimate Relationship, Miller had pointed out that in a marriage, when the wife has taken in charge of all or most of the housework, then happiness sense value in this family will be negative, it will be positive vice versa.
When the mother is busy cooking, the father or children are playing phones or watching TV. And the mother has even to think about the clothes to wash and floor to wipe. Will she be happy?
Warmth in a family not only lies in intimate words and behaviors between the couple, but more in the tiny tough housework. Attitude to housework of all family members are their attitude to warmth of the whole family. Family life is all about rice, bread, button, salt, tea and vinegar. To share house work together is the key to make your family warm and harmonious.
Sharing housework is just a kind of lubrication for happiness of a family. In the sharing process, all will feel that life of a whole family is hard and it shall be managed together. Moreover, every family members will know how to show appreciation and respect to each other in this sharing process.
I’ve seen a video telling story of a father and daughter. The father just feel very shameful when he saw his newly married daughter being tired everyday for doing housework in the evening and working hard in the daytime, because he found his lazy son-in-law was just a reflection of himself who never helped wife with housework in spare time. Then he decided to help his own wife with the housework everyday.
A daughter will just learn from her mothers’ family life when she get a new family of her own. If her own mother is a hardworking wife with much grievances, then she probably will reproduce one in the new marriage. How could it be a happy marriage?
Housework shall be shared by each family member as in good marriages, couples do housework together.