Marriage is a signal, showing that there is limit within a couples’ passion to each other. When their passion temperature comes to the highest point, they need to reduce it down. And they need to keep a certain distance, to become two totally independent people, accompanying each other in the their life journey remained.
However, most people just misunderstand this signal as an integrated whole of a marriage and then their conflicts will just continue without ending.
Romantic love may result in marriage but it may not help a marriage to remain long lasting. It is a relative-type of love that will be the foundation for a long lasting marriage. This relative-type of love is developed from initial love at the beginning of their marriage.
In this relative-type of love, romantic factors still exist but their importance have degraded after mutual trust and mutual affection which are formed in long-term of life living together. This mutual trust is not cultivated based on not only good wishes but also mutual respect and appreciation for each other based on some important behaviors.
This mutual trust will increase as the couple ages and this gives them a security feeling and it’s of high quality. I just don’t deny the possibility that a new romantic love will bring better marriage. But it’s still unknown in the future, moreover, it’s a risk. Even it may bring a better marriage for you, you will have to change it into a relative-type love.
I believe that upon your recognition on the inevitability and necessity of a relative-type love as the foundation of marriage, people’s evaluation on their own marriage would be more objective. They will be more discreet when confronting with the choice to go or to stay.
In a marriage, emotion satisfaction of a couple depends on the weak side. In other words, if A has 10% of love to B while B only has 5% of love to A, then their mutual emotion satisfaction can be only 5%, and the remained 5% will become a regret for A while a pain for B. In a marriage, it is impossible for just one side to be happy while the other isn’t at all. They shall gain win-win or fail-fail result. This is just a rule in marriage.
It is normal that people like new things and people like new lover sometimes, but there is something deeper in their feeling. This feeling is to love the old and memorize the old. A person can’t be young forever. He will finally find that the most valuable thing is long lasting accompany from a partner even you have experienced ups and downs in life.
In a long lasting and harmonious marriage, life of the couple is destined to include partner of each. All those valuable memories in the past will become treasure for their children.
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