First impressions are crucial. Studies show that we base the majority of our perception of people on the first few minutes we spend with them. This initial perception can extend and influence our relationship to the person for weeks or even months.
If you look at all of the women you’ve dated seriously, just about all of them ,it felt "on” within the first few minutes of the interaction. You clicked and that first impression led to a romantic and sexual relationship further down the line.
The biggest misconception about first impressions is being overly concerned with what to say to a woman when you meet her. What you say to her when you first meet her is actually unimportant, and hopefully by this point in the book, I don’t have to explain why.
The exact words you say are far less important than your intentions and level of anxiety.
Ninety percent of the time when I meet a new woman, I simply say, “Hi, I’m Mark.” I then follow it up with, “I wanted to meet you.” And if I’m feeling particularly bold, I’ll say, “I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you.”
That’s it.
You can ask a woman how her day is going, or say the most perceptive and witty thing to her in the first minutes, but her first impression is largely going to be based on how you present yourself, your level of anxiety, and your ability to communicate clearly. What actually comes out of your mouth is going to be forgotten or completely irrelevant within seconds.
With that in mind, here are guidelines for making a good first impression:
-Do not startle or scare her when you approach her. This is possibly the only death knell for appraoching women. If you startle her or scare her when she first meets you, in my experience, there is almost absolutely nothing you can do to recover. You’ve immediately labeled “creepy” and she will do anything possible to get out of the situation. Even if she’s polite and talks for a minute, chances are she’s never going to open up and trust you.
Typical ways guys startle or scare women upon the approach are by approaching them from behind (huge no-no),grabbing them violently, screaming at them, or saying something offensive or weired.
-When in doubt on how to approach a woman, simply walk up and introduce yourself and explain to her that you wanted to meet her. I know this sounds drab and boring. But remember, it’s not about entertaining her; it’s about being non-needy and expressing your genuine interest in her. During the day, I often preface the introduction by saying something like, “excuse me, this is a kind of random...” Also during the day, I usually tell them that I think they’re cute.
In my experience, the fancier and more creative guys try to get with their opening lines, the more likely they are to a) say something weird and b) come off as needy. Think about it, if you sit around for 10 minutes trying to think of what to say to a girl so that she’ll like you, how is that ever not needy?
She’ll sense this. In fact, it’s kind of amazing. Women really do seem to have a six sense about this stuff. I’ve noticed that the longer I hesitate and stare at a girl before I approach her, the more likely I am to be rejected. The best approaches I ever do are when I don’t think about it and I spontaneously just walk up and say hello.
-Don’t linger. If you linger and hover around her, it’s almost guaranteed to make the approach feel awkward and forced. Imagine a straight line between you and her, and when you’re ready to go, follow that straight line until you’re standing right in front of her. Don’t stand around and kick the dirt at your feet trying to work up the nerve right next to her.
-Smile. Always smile. Don’t smile like the Joker from Batman movies smiles. But smile like you’re a nice, friendly person. A comfortable smile. Lean back. Stand up tall. Speak loudly yet clearly. Make strong eye contact. Introduce yourself and stick out your hand. Give a firm handshake. This is called being a confident human being.
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