You can say the most attractive sentence in the world, but if it isn’t backed up by who you are, then it’s not going to have any meaning. Whereas if you are something amazing, then anything you say will be attractive because it will be coming from a genuinely attractive man.
Women are attracted to your identity. Words mean nothing. What you say is only a means to buy you enough time to show her that identity. Notice I said “show her” not “tell her.”
For instance, imgaine you meet two different men. One of them is a scrubby, ugly and shady character. He can’t look you in the eye. He smells bad. He mumbles to himself and scratches himself in inappropriate places. While you’re talking to him, he looks at you and says, “You know, I get a good feeling from you, you’re someone worth knowing." How would that make you feel? You’d probably get the creeps and want to get away from him as quickly as you could. Now imagine you’re talking to a handsome, successful man who is charismatic and charming. Everything he says is fascinating and interesting. Then he looks you in the eye and says, “You know, I get a good feeling from you, you’re someone worth knowing." It had make your day. Why? Because the second man is someone. He’s not just saying interesting and charming things, but he is interesting and charming. Suddenly the words that come out of his mouth have a whole new weight and meaning.
Another example here: A couple sat down at the table next to us. They were clearly on a date. The man was a bit older and the woman was young and beautiful. The man immediately closed the menu and said, “Don’t order anything. I know something special that’s not on the menu and you’re going to eat it.” The woman kind of meekly said, “OK.” The man then argued with the waiter about cooking some mystery dish that wasn’t on the menu. The man and the waiter went back and forth and soon it was apparent to all of those sitting in our section that something awakward and unnecessarry was taking place. The woman became bored, irritated and was soon deeply enmeshed in her phone, checking Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, anything to get her away from this bonehead sitting across from her.
In men’s mind, they probably saw himself as a successful, powerful man. However, they may be in a pathetic performance, overcompensation, a keen narcissism in real situation. A successful man doesn’t need to prove he’s successful by ordering something not on the menu. A powerful man doesn’t have to decree to his date what she’s going to eat that night.
This is why trying to impress women by flaunting an image of what you think is attractive will always backfire. Men can go out and perform as much as they want - for weeks, months, or even years - and they’ll never get good results because they’re not portraying themselves well. They don’t have a clear and successful identity. They aren’t in touch with the way in which they’re living their lives.
When you’re like this man - when you’ve focused so much on performing rather than actually being - then you are out of touch with your identity, who you are, and what you want. And when you’re out of touch with yourself, you will fall into the abyss of vague and empty demographics. You will aimlessly claw for whatever woman comes near you. You will be left bewildered at how you seem unable to polarize anyone.
Discovering your truth and establishing your identity is necessary to determine the demographics of women you desire and the demographics of women you appeal to.
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