Having fights or disagreements is a given in any relationship. If you really love each other, then chances are you’d want to make amends after a fight. It’s not about backing down or saying that you do not have a point, it's just about helping each other understand that even if you do not always agree about the same things, your relationship would still be intact.
Keeping it Cool
One way of making this happen is by knowing what makes the person feel better after a fight or a disagreement. For example, some people like it when their partners massage them, send them food, put on their favorite show, or basically just say sorry, or tell them that it’s okay, that they should talk, or maybe, go out, or see a movie.
There are also people who just like to have some “peace” to have some sense of quiet. This means that they wouldn’t want to talk to you right away, not because they’re mad at you, but because they just want to regain their composure first. Maybe they’re the type who don’t like it when people pressure them, or make them feel like they have to be okay right away, even when they’re not.
There are people who want you to tell them that you do understand their point, and that you are sorry. There are people who'd want to talk about what happened, and those who wouldn’t. Just like the other things in this book, people may react to disagreements and fights differently, and knowing how each of you might react early on could save you lots of time and heartache in the future!
Preventing Provocation
The worst thing that anyone can do after fighting with their significant other is to provoke the other party and say things that the other person would not want to hear. For example, maybe your partner is annoyed with someone from your family, and then a couple of minutes later, you’d talk about this certain person they are annoyed with. How do you think they would feel? Surely, they would feel as if their feelings are not that important for you and is that really what you want the other person to feel?
If you have not been in a number of serious relationships before, you’d probably feel like these things are just crazy demands; that it does not matter what you would do after a fight, since you already fought, anyway. And while this kind of reaction may be realistic, you’ve got to realize that these things are real, too.
You see, the way people react to the aftermath of disagreements may say a lot about who they are, and what they have been through in life. This is why you need to be sensitive enough about what the other person feels. Relationships are not just about the good things in life, after all. Sometimes, when you and your partner fight, you might feel like you just want to get it over with, but that's not the way life goes.
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