Do you get it all solved before bedtime or do you sometimes go to bed angry with your mate? According to relevant study on happly couples married and love for so many years till their late 70's. One of the similar reasons for their happiness is that they never go to bed angry. Interviews with couples married 50 to 60 years suggests that the moral of this advice goes deeper than just a cliche. Going bed angry can lead to unresolved issues and feelings of resentment that go beyond one evening of disagreement. Moreover, results of a study by University of Michigan professor emeritus Ernest Harburg that concludes going to bed angry can lead to an early death.
Fights happen,conflicts and arguments can sometimes be healthy. However, when you and your partner get into a disagreement make sure that you work it out and clear air before you go to sleep that night. It's not good for hurt feelings to fester for longer than they need to. That can lead to resentment and have the negative aspects of relationship kept in the forefront your mind. Be open with each other, make sure that you are being honest with what is upsetting you and listening to what your partner or spouse is saying. Any disagreements are misunderstandings and talking things out instead of stomping off to your room and closing the door can make sure you understand each other better. It will encourage you to be mindful of what your partner or spouse is feeling.
Finally, make sure that you apologize, whether you started the argument or you didn't, before you fall asleep, make sure that you both say that you are sorry for hurting the other's feelings. This way there is no room for resentment to creep into your relationship. You let your feelings out. You may have both gotten emotional or said things that you didn't mean, but now its over, and you can move on to tomorrow. Apologizing shows that you care about your significant other's feelings and that you don’t want to see them hurt even. Maybe you are not ready to put whatever angered you in the past just yet, but this way you are still showing your spouse or partner that you love them anyway.
The more you show him or her that you care for them even when times are rough, the more you are proving to them that your love for them is strong and unyielding. If they feel that security, they will be able to love you back just as fiercely.
Regardless of when you settle your conflicts, tips as below are provided for couples before going to bed, which in turn will help you live longer and reach effective compromises:
* Learn to listen.
* Don’t interrupt.
* Restate what you’re hearing the other person saying.
* Then try to resolve the problem.
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