If someone has a long history of out-of-balance emotional behavior, they may have many issues they need to face, perhaps even long-standing problems that go as back as childhood. Jesus gave us the first principle to remember concerning stable emotional health when He said, “You will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free” (John:8:32).
Without confrontation of painful issues from the past, it is impossible to go forward with a healthy soul. My father sexually abused me, and once I realized no one was going to help me, I decided that I would survive until I was eighteen and could leave home, which I did. I left and thought the problem was over, but it took another thirteen years to realize that the problem was still in my soul. It was affecting my personality and how I dealt with everyone and everything in my life. I had to begin my journey of healing by being willing to look at the problem inside me rather than blaming all my problems on someone else.
I even had to stop blaming them on my father and all the people who had not helped me. Even though what they did to me or didn’t do to help was the source of my problem and the reason why my behavior was emotionally erratic rather than stable. I had to take responsibility for the changes that needed to be made in me. Always remember that blaming does no good, and it does not help you enjoy freedom and wholeness. God wanted to help me, but I had to ask Him to do so and be willing to let the wonderful Holy Spirit walk me through several years of healing. God’s Word is the truth that eventually set me free from the pain of my past and gave me emotional stability. I pray that the term “emotional stability” sounds wonderful to you and that you will believe you can have it and be unwilling to do without it.
I eventually learned that hurting people hurt people. And once I realized that my father hurt me because he was sick inside, I was able to forgive him. I learned that what happened to me did not have to define who I was. My past could not control my future unless I allowed it to. I learned that I was filled with shame from the past and was partially blaming myself, but what happened to me was not my fault. Guilt was my constant companion, as well as fear and worry. I suffered from many other soul sickness as well, but the point is that each of them had to be faced with God’s help, and as they were, healing came in each area.
Picture several different-colored shoestrings tied together in knots, each one representing a different problem in your life. If you handed them to someone and said, “Please unite this mess,” it would take a while because the strings would have to be worked on one at a time. I have a necklace that is made up of several thin chains with crosses hanging off them at different places, and it tends to get very tangled when it is nto being worn. Each time I decide to wear it, I have to exercise patience to get it untangled. The Bible says that the promises of God are realized through faith and patience (see Heb. 10:36). You can recover from your past pain, from things that have been done to you and mistakes that you have made, but it will require an investment of time on your past. You can either continue to invest in your misery, or you can begin to invest in your healing! You will invest in something as you live your life, so make sure it is something that will pay dividends you will enjoy.
Thousands of times in my life I aksed, “Why do I feel this way?” but I was not doing anything about it. I was merely confused and acted out my feelings rather than trying to get any kind of help. The world is filled with people who do this all the time, and they are trying to interact with one another in relationships that either don’t work at all or are very dysfunctional at best.
It is possible to understand some of the reasons why we feel the way we do, but the most important thing is for us to stop defending our bad behavior. We must surrender all excuses because as long as we use the past to manipulate people and situations, we wll never be free from it. I frequently used my past as an excuse for bad behavior, but I had to come to a place where I was willing to confront and deal with past issues properly in order to have change.
One of the days God taught me to deal with the past was by confessing his promises instead of talking about how I felt. I remember one time standing in front of the mirror and saying something like this out loud: “my parents did not really love me, and they never will simply because they don’t know how to. But God does love me, and I do not have to spend my life mourning over something I dan’t do anything about. I will not waste my life trying to get something from my parents that they will never know how to give me. The fact that they abused me was not my fault. I was a victim, but I will not remain one. I will be healthy emotionally and whole in my soul. God is helping me, and every day I am making progress.”
We all have painful issues from the past that we must grapple with. They weren’t our fault, and it isn’t fair that we should suffer because of other people’s behavior. Perhaps you were teased mercilessly as a child and still feel insecure or extra sensitive because of that old pain. Maybe someone you loved left you without explanation. Whatever the source of your pain, God loves you. You don’t have to spend your life mourning over something you can’t do anything about! God will help you... He’s waiting to help you.
Comment