I have ever read a book in which the main figure describes his experience after his wife, his mother, and his young daughter were killed in a tragic accident. In a split second, he had lost his parent, his helpmate and his child. Struggling to come to terms with the darkness in life, he had a dream one night. He was running west, trying to catch the setting sun and feel its warmth and its light. But he was losing the race. As he followed behind, the sun was always in front of him, heading toward the horizon. No matter how fast he ran, the sun kept its distance. In the dream, he lost hope and collapsed in the darkness.
Later on, he was describing the dream to a friend, who pointed out to him that the fastest way to reach the sun and the light of day is not to head west, chasing after the setting sun, but to head east and plunge into the darkness until the sunrise comes.
“I discovered in that moment,” he said, “that I had the power to choose the direction my life would head, even if the only choice open to me, at least initially, was either to run from the loss or to face it as best I could. Since I knew that darkness was inevitable and unavoidable, I decided...to walk into the darkness rather than try to outrun it.”
The good news is that there is something waiting for you on the other side of suffering loss. It may be a different job, it may be a different spouse, or it may be a new ability to empathize with others who are going through a situation similar to yours. But you do have a choice. You can move through your loss and come out on the other side. The decision to move forward doesn’t eliminate the emotions that we feel, but the emotions will subside as time goes by. It is important not to let our emotions control us during losses. It is best not to make rash decisions or sudden changes until we have had an opportunity to mentally adjust to the loss.
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