Think about the following situation. Your best friend buys a dress that is a designer style and looks absolutely fantastic in it. You are jealous and wish in your heart that you could afford to buy something like it. Perhaps not in the same style, but with the same amount of prestige. You can choose to deal with this in several ways:
•Avoid going out with her when she wears it because you feel it makes you look shabby.
•Enthuse with her about the purchase.
•Avoid her altogether because you don't want to be faced by your jealous feelings.
Reasonable analysis on the three ways
Among all the ways as above, only the second option is acceptable. If you choose either of the other options, you have a problem that needs tackling head on. The point is that material things are worth less than relationships are. Your friendship is much more worthy than the things you get in your friendship. They are things and they are decorations in your life. You can't take things when you die. However, if you behave in a jealous way all of your life, that's all you will be remembered for. Once reflecting yourself that you have any jealous feelings, you need to tackle them because they are really unattractive. They show you up for who you are. Not only are you someone who cannot afford a designer dress, you are also someone who begrudges a friend a little bit of happiness.
Actually we live our life encountering situations as above, which may arouse jealousy feeling inside our heart. If you succumb to jealousy, you are presenting yourself to the world as in the following way:
•I am a non-achiever.
•I don’t like other people having more than me.
•I cannot celebrate my friend’s successes.
•I feel deprived of what I feel I should have.
Behaviors as above are just a little young girl's having a tantrum when her parents told her that she cannot have something. It's not only impolite but also rude to your friend. You are showing a disregard for your friendship because you're making the possessions or achievements of others more important than friendship is. Acting in a jealous way through your life, you will end up being lonely and very unhappy unless you tackle your jealous feelings and move on.
Suggestions
A more appropriate response when you see something that makes you wish you had what someone else has is to learn from them and appreciate them as your life role models.We learn absolutely nothing by feeling jealous to them unless we exert the same efforts and smartness in pursuing what we wish to have.
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