Jealousy may be a kind of negative of human emotions described by many literature authors. For example, Shakespeare even called it that green-eyed monster. While you're in a relationship, it may be a warning to remind something within you and you shall pay attention to it in order to maintain long and healthy relationship.Hereby, this passage will analyze what kind of jealous emotion you will have in relationships and you shall take actions accordingly.
Jealousy is used as material in literature works
Sometimes in your favorite novels, jealousy may be used to fuel the suspense and authors may often use it as a motive for murder and it even comes with its own color. Jealousy is one of the most negative of human emotions that makes you less than who you should be. In fact, it prevents you from seeing things in a balanced way and holds you back from being happy. So how can people manage to curb it? The way forward is to understand where it comes from and to use this information to break down the situation into manageable changes. However, people who feel jealous will find this quite hard to do because the negativity of jealousy stops them in their tracks.
Jealousy in a relationship
Even called as the green-eyed monster by Shakespeare, jealousy is always lurking behind us and always readying itself to strike. It sets up camp at the top of your head while in a relationship and it glows with such malice as you grow deeply and madly in love with your partner and as you are becoming comfortably attached. This also happens even when you're not in the mood to like your partner in particular situations. Sometimes jealousy may just surface when an argument occurs because it's a spiteful emotion that actually shows you for what you really are. If you use jealousy as your defense in an argument, you really are the loser before you begin. You need to learn to deal with your feelings and emotions and gain confidence in yourself so that you don't have to resort to such childlike behavior.
Your sweetheart may have called you by someone else’s name, or you may have noticed how his eyes lingered on your best friend for too long. Sometimes, he talks excitedly about some girl at work. Long before you know it, you’re already on fire. This fire spreads through that sickening combination of suspicion, possessiveness, rage, humiliation, and ultimately, your insecurity. However, did you know that insecurity isn’t the end result, as indicated in the last paragraph? Indeed, it’s the reason for your jealousy in the first place. You are insecure.
Let’s break this situation down and explain what is happening. You already have insecurities. Perhaps you are not as pretty as you would like to be. There is a list of possibilities:
●You have never really felt that confident.
●You don’t feel that you are good looking.
●You don’t like yourself very much.
●You worry in relationships because you think your partner will like someone more than you.
This is YOUR problem. Now, imagine the scenario. Your husband spends time with an attractive person within the workplace. Most men do at some stage, but most men’s wives are not jumping down their throats about it or being jealous. Bearing in mind what we have already said about your insecurities, you are jealous because of the following reasons:
●I wonder if he will choose her rather than me.
●I wonder if she is cleverer than me.
●I wonder what they talk about.
●He has said he admires her. Does he admire me?
Then comes the very negative part of jealousy - you display actions that you believe are justified. You are concerned that your partner will make a move that will end your relationship. It's not actually fact, but it’s the way that you see it. The reactions that you show in this instance will have an effect on the outcome of the situation. Thus, if you take the following actions, you really can expect your relationship to flounder.
●You accuse.
●You try to bring down your partner's opinion of the other party.
●You make life generally difficult for your partner.
●You make snide remarks.
There is a pattern emeiging here, but you may not have seen it yet. It isn't about your partner. Every one of the steps so far is about YOU and the way that YOU feel. When you act on jealousy, you often make the situation a lot worse. Although your partner may love you with all of his heart, he isn't going to be happy with your accusations, and instead of making your relationship stronger, you alienate your partner-thus begins the vicious circle that jealousy entails.
Jealousy features heavily in our insecurities
Neither gender can be routinely full of these jealous feelings, although women tend to go the extra mile, just to win back their lovers. Men, on the other hand, rely more on their status and money, flaunting them as they go and normally walking out of relationships to save face and protect their self-esteem. Why this is so prevalent in women is because they live by their emotions. You need to understand the female and male psyche to see why. The male will defend his territory. Thus, if someone steps into that territory, he may retaliate with jealous or defensive behavior. A woman, on the other hand, is ruled by her emotional responses and will use jealousy to hide the fact that it’s her insecurities within herself that cause these nasty feelings of jealousy rather than being the fault of someone else. Taming jealousy is never easy, but you can manage it, and that's what's important.
Going even further regarding the male and female reaction to situations, you need to understand the difference between emotional responses and those that are egoist. A man’s reactions are likely to be egoist, whereas a woman is likely to turn inward in her jealousy, and her outbursts will be emotional based upon her own insecurities.
Everyone knows how it feels to be jealous of someone else. Jealousy, among other traits that define human feelings, could readily be among the most harmful of emotions that we display. Think of it as that nagging belief of inferiority or spite toward another person, mostly due to mutual interests. It’s only normal that we human beings ooze and smell of jealousy at the right moments, and insecurity is not far behind. In fact, jealousy features heavily in our insecurities in our relationships.
What is needed is a sense of balance or a way of stopping jealous feelings from surfacing because when they do, you can be sure that the relationship is headed toward disaster. Not everyone will react in the same way to a jealous partner's outburst, but since men like to feel in control and obviously are not when jealousy hits, it’s likely to alienate them. When women feel jealous, it’s likely to make her feel even worse about herself after the indignant outburst have been made. He needs to let go because his pride will not him to be insulted. She needs to let go because of the jealousy displayed is actually making her insecurity even worse.
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