There are quite some people at some point in their lives experience insecurity and trust in their relationships. This most troublesome issue manifests when our partners have not done anything wrong thing or anything to make us sad, and yet here we are, red hot with jealousy. What we must understand is that we project our jealousy in different ways, like when there is just any other reason to make us jealous. This could be a classic case where the partner has done some things that are suspicious at the very least. We also need to see from another angle whether all circumstances indicate that we are actually the ones controlling our relationships and not the other way around, or whether our partners are projecting jealousy instead.
Anxious attachment & jealousy
Do you feel insecure in your current relationship, often leaving you lonely, worried, and ultimately jealous? Do you hear your partner say that you can be “clingy at times” It could well be that you're having an anxious attachment. It's a way of describing how individuals connect to one another, especially to their “emotionally significant.” Individuals experiencing anxious attachment think they’re flawed and that they're unworthy of love. Thus, they will seek approval more than usual. You must have friends who display this. These are the people who always have to be noticed. In fact, when they are not in the limelight, they are usually in the middle of some kind of emotional crisis that you are sure to hear about in the future.
Where anxious attachment develops
Our sense of attachment, believe it or not, starts to develop during infancy. In some cases, infants come to know that their parents are inconsistently available. This distresses them along the way, which their parents then address by giving them extra attention. As they grow up, these kids could also receive attention from others. Over time, they start to develop that “needy feeling”, being desperate for attention, including the need for other individuals to help soothe them. Kids with anxious attachment grow up believing they have to earn the attention and support of others just because they are flawed. Such beliefs naturally affect their relationships. They often become self-critical, questioning themselves regularly. This can be tiring to their loved ones and friends who support them.All this means they also cling to their relationships with other individuals, and they can easily get jealous as well.
Anxious attachment is never permanent
Fortunately, anxious attachment is never permanent. With self-compassion and awareness, you can build and nurture healthy relationships. However, if you are starting to feel the pangs of jealousy, you need to address them. If you cannot do this alone, try talking to someone you know you can trust, and gain assurance outside of the relationship so that you don't take your insecurities into the equation at home.
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