Your Insecurities Should Get Past

Author Sofia Price From Jealousy: How To Overcome Jealousy, Insecurity and Trust Issues- Save Your Relationship, Love Life and Emotions (5th Edition) 6 years ago 9171

Look at events in the past that made you feel so bad. Have you been let down? Have you been so badly hurt by an event that you're letting it hold you back in your current life-style? The fact is that often, jealousy comes out of seeing a similar situation occur or actually perceive that it will occur. Last time, your partner told you that he was working late. You found out that he was having an affair. You now see problems arising when your new partner tells you that he is working late. Under similar cases like this, your jealousy are affecting your state in a relationship. When you realize bad effects of jealousy,different types of jealousy and how they affect you and your personal life, you'd better get rid of your insecurities and make them get past.


Explore your insecurities and have discussion

What you need to do is explore your insecurities and work out why you have them. If you want to do this and are close enough to your partner to ask his or her help, then it’s quite possible that your partner will take this as a great compliment. We don't let many people into our private bubble of thoughts, and sometimes, a partner is happy to work through your issues because at the end of the day, it makes your relationship stronger, and it helps you to understand each other.

He needs to know why you are feeling insecure, and when he does, he will help you get beyond jealousy. If you don’t discuss it, how will he know what he is doing wrong or that your point of view tells you that he is? You also need to look at self-esteem issues. Are you always asking for extra attention? Do you constantly ask him if he loves you? These are signs of insecurity, and to be honest, they are not very endearing ones. You should know you are loved. You should know that you don’t need extra attention, but some people do because issues from their past tell them that they do. It's actually very off-putting in a relationship to show so little trust, and a relationship based upon insecurity is doomed from the word “go.”

If you have insecurity, talk about it. Let your partner know the kinds of things that happened to you in your past early in the relationship. When you feel jealous because of something such as this, remind him of your insecurities, and talk about it. Let your partner know, above all else, that you are aware that its unreasonable to feel jealous but that part of you won’t let you let go. Ask for his help. Often, people like to protect their partners, and if they are aware that there is a past issue, they may be open to being understanding when such a situation arises.

If you are really having problems moving on from past issues, then perhaps talking to a professional will help, but do let your partner know. Your partner will be more sympathetic toward you and behave in a way that he knows won’t hurt you, but you need to get jealousy out of your system. It’s unhealthy, and it may be stopping you from living life to the fullest.

Examine your motives. Examine your reasoning, and try replace jealousy with something more constructive. If you find yourself becoming suspicious, try to think about something else. The problem is that you are potentially lead yourself up the garden, path by being jealous.

If you're jealous, you don’t get what you want out of life. You never can because you cannot control people. You need to know that the problem isn't the people around you but rather the way that you react toward people and their behavior. You cannot continually blame someone else for your jealous responses. That’s down to you, and if you really need help with this problem, do seek out the help of a professional to try to get rid of it.


Negative effects of jealousy

Let's Look At The Negative Effects Of Jealousy:

•It makes you less of a person, not more of one.

•It alienates people you love and who love you.

•It makes you look insecure and sometimes foolish.

•It makes you say things that you may regret.

Put jealousy into the past

Think about it. You need to handle your feelings better and put jealousy where it belongs - deep in the past. You have decided to go forward in life, and when you can put jealousy into the past, your life becomes a much happier place to be. It also becomes a much more pleasurable place for him to be, and if that's what you are aiming for, it's your only alternative.

The problem is that people see jealousy as the negative response that it is. Men tend to back away from it. Women tend to be flattered initially by it, but they feel locked into relationships that do not satisfy them when their man shows jealousy. No one gains at all. The green-eyed monster is not attractive. It doesn't make you look vulnerable in a nice kind of way. It makes you look insecure and stubborn to the point that you make the people you love suffer. Now, it's time to stop and take a good look at what you are doing because if you don’t you will lose the people you love.

Jealousy is one of the most negative feelings that a person can have, and it erodes a relationship that is supposed to be built on trust. You need to put that trust to the test now and tell your loved one what's bugging you and why rather than harboring jealous thoughts. In fact, you need to find a way around it, such that does not demonstrate jealousy at all but instead shows a reasonable explanation of why you are feeling negative. Remember, it's your feelings that are being bounced around, but also keep in mind that it’s usually self-inflicted and that you need to get past it.


Common types of jealousy

There are also different types of jealousy, but they are all as negative as each other. Imagine the kinds of jealousy that can arise in life, and you will start to see a very familiar picture if you have this negative emotion as part of your life:

•You are jealous because others seem better than you.

•You are jealous because people have more than you do.

•You are jealous because you are competing for your lover’s attention.

•You are jealous because your life isn’t as easy as someone else’s life.

•You are jealous because someone posesses something that you don’t.


It's "your" problem that needs solving

When it comes down to it, jealousy is horrible. What does it matter if people have more than you and seem to have a happier lifestyle than you do? They have worked to get where they are, and it really has nothing to do with you. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and stop using your jealousy as a way to justify why you are not exerting the best effort that you can in your life. Your inadequacies are what cause jealousy, so these need to be dealt with for you to get past it. Remember, the key word here is YOU. The problem is not with anyone else. It’s YOUR problem that needs solving, and once you get beyond jealousy, you become a better person - the kind of person people want to have around them rather than someone who leeches on their lover’s and friends’ energy levels to feed their inferiority problems.

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