We all know that losing weight is a painful process but it can actually make us feel happy. Apart from that, suffering loss is an inescapable part of life and we all have to experience it. Even girls happily getting married have to gradually lose connection and intimacy with her parents and siblings. And it is always during these times of suffering loss that we experience some of the most intense emotions. The word loss itself is often associated with major stressful life events: the loss of a job, a marriage, a loved one or a friendship. But loss isn’t confined to huge crises. We go through many losses, big and small, in the course of a normal life.
The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, which measures the impact of major life events on one’s health, includes forty-one events that trigger significant stress. Every event is assigned a number of points, and when the sum of those points hits 150 or more, the risk of illness goes up dramatically. It’s interesting to note that eight of the top ten events are losses; the only two exceptions are marriage and marital reconciliation.
Even retirement, which is usually a wonderful time of life, involves the loss of a decades-long routine, a steady paycheck, and sometimes a sense of purpose.
Stressful Life Events Stress Points
1. Death of a spouse 100
2. Divorce 73
3. Marital separation 65
4. Jail term 63
5. Death of a close family member 63
6. Personal injury or illness 53
7. Marriage 50
8. Dismissal from work 47
9. Marital reconciliation 45
10. Retirement 45
What sets loss apart from other situations is that many losses are permanent, and while a loss may someday be followed by something else that is good, the loss itself cannot be undone. When a friendship ends, you may make another friend and enjoy the same activities you enjoyed with your old friend, but the original friendship is gone forever, unless the friendship can be reconciled. You can’t reminisce with your new friend about that great vacation your families took together or the time when the two of you are at a restaurant, only to realize that neither of you had your wallet.
When a marriage ends, whether by divorce or death, that union is gone forever. While you may remarry and find greaty joy, perhaps even greater joy than before, the special things that made your relationship with your first husband unique as a thing of the past. While the memories will give you pleasure, they’re a pale substitute for the real thing.
Once a person loses his job, even if he gets a better one later on, the sting of having been told to “go away” remains for a long time.
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