Anger expressed inappropriately will be a problem and so is repressed anger. Repressed anger means anger stuffed inside and not dealt with properly but it will eventually come out one way or another. It may show up in negative emotions such as depression, anxiety, rage or any other negative forms and it can even manifest in sickness and disease. When dealing improperly, anger will eventually either explode or implode.
Lily’s mother was mentally ill, and she frequently locked her in the closet for punishement. Some days she spent more time in the dark closet than she did in the house. This abuse left Lily very angry, but now knowing how to deal with her anger, she simply left home when she was old enough to do so and tried to forget the whole thing. That sounds good; after all, we are instructed in God’s Word to let go of what lies behind. However, that does not mean to avoid dealing with it. Lily married at the age of nineteen because she was desperate to experience love, and she and her husband had three children within the first five years of their rather rocky relationship.
Lily was moody. She was either depressed or angry most of the time, and it seemed that everyone had to walk on eggshells, so to speak, to prevent setting her off. The atmosphere in the house was very tense. Lily frequently overreacted to minor situations. At dinner one evening, her daughter Katie, who was three years old, accidentally spilled her glass of milk at the table. Lily got up and threw her chair across the room as she ranted and raved on and on about how nobody in the house seemed to be able to do anything right. The meal was ruined for everyone. Her husband, James, left the house to prevent starting an argument with her and making things even worse, and the children sat at the table with fearful looks on their faces, crying and wondering what Mama would do next.
Lily was always sorry shortly after her explosions, and she tried to make up for her bad behavior by doing something nice for the children, but the guilt she felt because she could not control herself was almost overwhelming. She didn’t know what to do, so she did nothing. Eventually, her depression became so bad that she was advised to see a psychiatrist. Thankfully, the one she went to was a Christian in addition to being a great counselor, and he was able to help Lily see that deep down inside she was still very angry about the way her mother had treated her, and this was causing all her emotional problems. He helped her face the truth, forgive her mother and learn how to control her emotions.
Lily’s story ended well, but there are hundreds of thousands of people in the world liek Lily who are emotional time bombs just waiting to explode. Sadly, they may spend their entire lives being miserable and ruining relationships because they never deal with the root of their problem.
Although there are very serious situations like Lily’s that require a lot of time to heal, there are also things we deal with daily. Each day we may have an opportunity to be offended or to not take the offense. Some psychologists teach that we need to express all our anger, but according to God’s Word, there are many things that we need to just let go of.
Since God’s Word tells us not to let the sun set on our anger, surely God expects us simply to let some things go. As we navigate life, we will need to be generous in mercy in order not to be angry most of the time. In the Amplified Bible we learn that to forgive means to “let it drop (leave it, let it go)” (Mark 11:25). We must learn to choose battles wisely in life because there are far too many to fight them all. Sometimes God still says, as He did to the Israelites, “The battle is not yours, but God’s” (2 Chron. 20:15)
As you can see, there are several ways we can deal with anger, but remember that we can’t express it in an unloving way, we can’t repress it, and we can’t ignore it. Anger is a real emotion, and we have to deal with it one way or another.
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