In order to be the perfect mistress, you need to present yourself as a strong and attractive woman. By understanding the motivation behind why men have affairs, you realize that your role within this relationship is that of a fantasy woman. Your part in this affair is rather more difficult than those that you've experienced in conventional relationships, since you need to provide your man with experiences above and beyond what he would expect or has received. It is precisely because he isn't receiving everything he wants or needs to be satisfied from his spouse that he seeks to be with you. Thus, in order to play your part in this relationship to perfection, you need to be the person who your man sees in his fantasies. This does not mean that you need to overhaul your looks and personality, just pay more attention to slanting them in favor of your man's tastes.
The biggest and most external complaint that partners have in a marriage is that the other person let go of their looks and fitness once they got too comfortable in the relationship, and so the first order of business for you should be to take care of your physical appearance. Hit the gym, and start paying more attention to your wardrobe, hygiene, and the health of your skin. Analyze your dress sense, dress to flatter and impress. Dress as an adventurous, confident, classy and attractive woman, and while your dressing shouldn't reveal skin, it should exude sensuality. While your man's need to seek out sexual partners outside of his marriage may have arisen out of several deeper issues, the fact of the matter remains that his passion towards you is usually embodied within the quality of your sexual life together. Make sure that your hair always smells great, and that you're dressed to make an impression whenever you're about to meet him. You are now the sexual creature who occupies his fantasies, and you need to maintain your grooming and upkeep to ensure that it stays that way. Even if you feel that you're getting very comfortable around him, you can't let this aspect slip. Maintaining your status as his fantasy woman isn't going to be easy work, but it's going to be rewarding for you both for as long as you decide to remain in the relationship.
This may also mean upgrading your lingerie, so that you can flaunt as stunning a figure for him behind closed doors as you would in public. The same philosophy extends to your experimentation in bed. If you're strongly opposed to something, then it's understandable that you stand your ground. However, if you're merely avoiding experimentation for no other reason, you may want to rethink your approach so that you can ply him with experiences which he would never forget.
Also, if you've noticed that being insistent, stubborn, confrontational, or volatile receives a cold response from him, you may want to consider developing smoother and more effective ways of communicating with him. You need to always remember that he's taking a risk in order to experience something other than the troubling friction which he faces in his primary home life. If you overly criticize or antagonize him too often, he may decide to end the relationship with you.
Lastly, you need to maintain your own life and friends while you're not immediately around him. This is very important because you will need to have a support system in place for when your man decides to end the relationship, and even during the course of the affair, keeping busy will prevent you from waiting anxiously until he initiates contact again. You should not isolate yourself from your friends and family during the course of this volatile relationship. Remember to keep the relationship discreet while you maintain your friendships. This will lengthen the course of the relationship and help you avoid having to face judgment, criticism, or the constant need to explain your lifestyle choice to people around you. Keep your own social life entirely separate from his, it will make things far easier, regardless of however long your tryst continues.
The undeniable truth which you need to understand is that you'll have to work far harder to maintain a relationship with your married man than you've ever had a reason to before. You're in this relationship because you feel strongly for him but bear in mind that he might view his relationship with you as tangibly dispensable. Therefore you'll have to give in to his lead and dominance far more than may otherwise have been acceptable to you at any point in your life. In order to offset your dispensability in the larger scheme of things, you'll have to make yourself indispensable purely through how you make him feel as a man, as a lover, and as a partner when he's with you.
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