Christ in His teaching stated, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart”(Matt. 5:27-28). The Greek verb for look is in the imperfect tense, which is an action that starts in the past and continues into the present. It could be translated "continually look.” Christ emphasized the importance of guarding the mental fantasies. Sexual fantasy is different from sexual actions and at times more complex to manage. He stressed that continual thinking is more likely to lead to an unfaithful heart attitude as well as to sinful behaviors.
This article offers essential lessons about fantasy becoming sin. The sinful destructiveness of fantasy is relative to the situation and the individual person's inner attitudes. To notice a woman in a bikini or a man’s strong hands is one thing. To continually fantasize about your next-door neighbor or a person at work is dangerous. That could much more easily lead to adultery. Christ also encouraged us to be careful how we build mental fantasies. Even though fantasy is not reality or as destructive as actual behavior, Christ warned that your thought life can develop in such a way as to betray your mate in your heart. The specialness of your love and commitment can be diluted—all fantasy is not innocent or productive.
In the letter to the Colossians, Paul encouraged Christians to clean up their thought lives and make wise choices in mentally pursuing sexual cues. Christians should avoid "sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires”. Everyone has sexual reactions triggered by cues in the environment. That is not wrong desire but is often reflexive. You can choose what you do with that desire to keep it from evolving into sin. You can control whether you objectify a person or “continually look” to the detriment of your thought life and partnership.
It is not wrong for a man to praise the Lord for hetero-sexuality and the female form. Fantasies are not behaviors, and visual cues can unintentionally stimulate arousal. But, a male can tune in so much to external environmental cues that he forgets to notice his wife’s feminine appeal and have a proper focus on his own special woman.
Similarly, a woman’s sexual fantasies are stimulated by sensory data (for example, a romantic movie, a good-looking guy, or an affirming comment on her femininity) that go through the pipeline of her nerves to her genitals and body. A woman’s response might be more general and not so genitally focused as a man’s but can also lead to counterproductive fantasy.
Remember that fantasy is not reality but does require discipline so the deeper heart issues of love are protected. Let God be in your bedroom, and He will help you keep imagination pure and growth-producing—to help you keep your desires centered on your lovemaking.
Men and women alike will experience sexual arousal as a part of the sleep cycle, with erections, lubrications, and dreams. This arousal is not unfaithfulness, and if you think about your dreams, they are probably based on your mental story of erotically arousing events for perhaps your emotional struggles at the time. You cannot control dreams, and again, fantasy is nor reality. A great way to understand your dreams is to deal with the feelings behind them. By nothing afraid of your dreams, but through exploring them and praying, you can learn from them and make necessary changes in your life.
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