Sexual imagination should be used toward the goal of increasing the enjoyment and intimacy of lovemaking. Here are some rules of thumb that can help you maximize your mental fantasy life. They can help you, whether individually or mutually, to keep your fantasy skills and usage within God’s sexual economy as it enhances lovemaking.
Keep environmental cues disciplined. It is great to be heterosexual and enjoy the opposite sex. But you can make choices about how this enjoyment can be controlled. Guys, it helps to employ the one-second rule and keep your gaze moving rather than lingering. You can enjoy and be enriched by variety and romance without detracting from your commitment to enhancing your sex life as you eroticize your mate. If this doesn't happen, and you are fantasizing about something else during lovemaking, you are diminishing /our relationship and sexual partnership.
Keep intentional fantasies centered on your mate. One man who went to many conferences built a fantasy in which he met a sexy woman who seduced him in his hotel room. Un-fortunately, he never took his wife to the conferences. You know the sad outcome of this story and what happened at a conference. You should keep all fantasies that you willfully (intentionally) create focused on your partner. Sinful diluting of intimacy and acting out sexually are encouraged by continual, intentional fantasies about a person or situation outside your marriage.
Keep the enhancement of your lovemaking the primary focus. Continued fantasies about women with big breasts or men with muscular shoulders are stupid if your spouse is small. The same can be said about not taking the energy to allow your mate to be erotically attractive to you and fantasizing that you are making love to someone else. This can be very demeaning and destructive to your lover and your lovemaking. Create fantasies about you and your mate that are romantic, fun, and realistic.
During and after making love, notice and fantasize about aspects of your spouse that you find erotically attractive. Don’t just stop with the physical attributes; go into the soul of your attraction. Look into his or her eyes and feel your love and why his masculinity or her femininity is so deeply attractive. So much is being paired up intimately. Let these feeling-laden images become a part of your increasing store of sexual memories. Turn your imagination loose on ideas that could make you a better lover and your sex life more ex-citing and intimate.
Keep creative variety. Fantasies can become as routine as your sex life. You need to continually add to your store of sexually arousing imagery and keep creatively utilizing it with your mate. Don’t be guilty of a limited repertoire. Men, even more than women, can allow fantasies to be repetitious and boring. Some of them probably date back to high school. Allow your mate and dynamic lovemaking to stimulate your imagination and spice up your fantasy life.
Keep between the lines. Some people and ideas should have tight boundaries placed around them so they are never al-lowed to create erotic arousal. You may inadvertently get sexual feelings, but you can choose to stop the feelings as completely inappropriate. This can be called for in regards to a neighbor, all the way through to that person in the church choir.
A sense of the unusual, of newness and adventure, enhances sexual excitement and variety. The human mind is naturally curious and loves mystery or new experiences. Your imaginative capacity and fantasy can help fulfill this in many ways. Keep an adventure component in your personality. Fantasy with mystery and novelty can give your love life wings. Mentally making love with your spouse on your office desk may lead to your setting it up and seducing your mate there. Wives and husbands can imagine themselves wild and uninhibited and then practice some of these fantasy behaviors. These lovemaking sessions usually end up with much laughter and a bonding closeness A great fantasy life and a dynamic sex life are indeed a state of mind. Unleash your childlike wonderment and curiosity as you discover new dimensions of play through fantasy.
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