Most wives want husbands who are strong and confident and can provide unasked-for nurturing. They would like men who are not always predictable but have spontaneous energy and mystery. Wives at times want to be 'taken”— not in a demanding or abusive way, but out of a passionate desire for their femininity from a self-confident husband. They want to be swept off their feet and romantically enjoyed in wild and wonderful ways.
They also desire men who have sexual expertise but are able to implement suggestions without pouting and shutting down. They love men who are secure enough to appreciate and follow their lead at times as well. Men have such a strong need to be competent that it is tough for us not to take personally any coaching or criticism. There may be times you feel embarrassed because your wife has refused something or given alternate suggestions. In the typical fashion of a male with egg on his face, don't continue the behavior and hope your wife will eventually find it okay. “No,” “Maybe tomorrow,” or "That is bothering me” mean exactly that. Quit selling yourself short by persisting and hoping she will change.
Don't be predictable. Surprises bring a jolt of energy to the relationship as you increase your image of being mysterious, romantic, and passionate. She may think she has you figured out, but keep her off balance with impromptu romantic flourishes. Learn how to “take” her with strong, gentle leadership. Mystery, variety, and strength are very sexy to your wife. Keep humble and secure and non-defensive as you evolve into a passionate leader.
God has given you a precious gift in creating for you your own special woman and putting you into a one-flesh companionship with her. Together you two can enjoy excitement and intimacy! Maximize His gift as you humbly and wisely become a skilled and passionate leader and lover.
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