There have been many different interpretations about what is permissible for a Christian as you 11 “browse among the lilies” and “taste the choice fruits” of your sexual garden. An example of this would be the different views about oral sex. Though the Song of Solomon seems to imply oral sex, the Christian community has often been skeptical of this behavior, sometimes for unworthy reasons, like thinking that the genital area is “dirty” or, ”too private” or thinking that Christians should be cautious about overindulging in playful sexual pleasure that doesn't lead to procreation.
When the Bible does not directly deal with a behavior like oral sex or masturbation, we turn to other scriptural values to help govern our sexual behaviors. Whether oral sex, using a vibrator, or trying new positions, we are called to be lovingly considerate and wise; never should we do anything that violates our mate’s sensibilities or offends our mate sexually. Our bodies are God's temple and should be treated respectfully and not damaged. We are told to be self-disciplined and balanced, with oral sex or any erotic stimulation never becoming the focus of our whole lovemaking and intimate connecting. Making love is a celebration of our one-flesh companionship and should never be associated simply with orgasm, intercourse, or genital pleasuring.
With biblically neutral behaviors, such as oral sex, Christians will disagree about whether they are productive or counterproductive to married lovemaking. It is proper here for some to participate ansome to abstain. God promises in Philippians 3:15-16 that if we act on the truth we do understand, He will help each of us mature and come to an understanding of His will and way. A purpose of this book is to encourage each of us to think carefully and bring our sexuality and lovemaking into accord with God's truth and sexual economy (eco meaning "a system”, and nornos meaning in “regulating guidelines”). This book is humble, based on God's truth. Together we as Christians need to carefully reclaim from distorted worldly values God's precious gift of sexuality. Let's create a practical and accurate sexual theology and practice.
Making love is intimate connecting and a breaking down of walls so that “my lover is mine and I am his [hers!.” You are willingly naked and vulnerable. Lovers are able to experience freedom and abandonment together, based on love, trust, and commitment. It is a unique companionship and so exciting to be naked and not ashamed. The next chapter will develop further the importance of this loving partnership, and the need to be a mature lover.
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