Unless you’re sure that your woman is already sexually stoked, you’ll need to start off very subtly and up the ante slowly, like a diesel engine (chugga chugga, chugga chugga). One of the best ways to do this is with funny double entendres. These can keep her guessing about what you really mean and help build up her anticipation and excitement. Uncertainty is key, because if she chides you for being a pervert, you can appeal to the other meaning of what you said and turn the accusation back at her in a funny way, which sets off a spiraling cycle of dirty talk.
The sexual innuendo is a time-honored art form. The French phrase "double entendre”, means “double intention”. What you say can be taken two ways. You can throw these out at any time. Just look for the right opportunities. There are no rules about double entendres, but you don’t want to make them a way of life. Strategically placed sexual innuendo can be really funny, playful and hot. Let's look at a few examples.
The classic “if I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me”，is one of my personal favorites. While apologetically noting that the woman you're saying it to has a pleasing form(“hold it against me” meaning “hold a grudge” or “be offended” in the first sense). At the same time, the naughty suggestion that you’d like to embrace her is clear (“would you hold it against me? meaning her body). It’s such a famous double entendre that it's funny if you roll it out, as it’s such an old clunker. The corny aspect of this one will endear you to any woman, instead of pissing her off. Just don’t say it to someone you’re sitting next to on the bus unless you know her well. We don’t want any needless violence.
You can even have fun with the word, “innuendo”, itself. If you’re familiar with the television show “Scrubs”，you’ll know about Dr. Todd Quinlan and his penchant for sexual innuendos. Usually, they’re not that great, but his interpretation of the word is too good not to share with you - “ln- your-end-o” This is so clumsy and dorky, your woman will probably fall off her chair, laughing. You can throw it into a conversation on the subject, or even employ it while driving as a response to the behavior of other drivers, while going out for the evening. See? It’s fun! Dorky and corny is way better than creepy and the geeky employment of somewhat clumsy innuendo can have your woman laughing her ass right off. Women love to laugh and if you can make them do that, you’re well on your way to skipping over the border to the magical kingdom with her, hand in hand.
While there are no hard, fast rules about sexual innuendo, not pounding them home too hard, or shoving them down people's throats, is the best way to stay on top of the art form. When you’ve become a master of this game, you’ll cleave to it, with abandon. As you penetrate its limitless pleasures, you’ll find yourself deeper and deeper in its use. You see? You already know how to do it. It’s just a matter of recognizing the opportunities when they present themselves and exploiting them for your woman’s amusement! It's lots and lots of fun for you and your woman.
Dirty talk is a fine line to walk, so don’t go too far, too fast. Good dirty talk is not just for the purpose of turning you on. You want to turn your woman on. When you’re both feeling horny, everybody’s happy when you get down to business. Not keeping that in mind is kind of creepy. I mean, if you're just talking to dirty to get yourself ready, you may as well go it alone, right? It takes two to tango, so put the needle on the right vinyl.
Avoid language that women find violent, like “smashing”, or “banging”. You are not the Hulk (even if you think you are). Words like these send the wrong message about your attitude toward sex. While they have a place in certain context and settings and with women who like a certain kind of dirty talk, avoid them if you’re not sure. “Fucking” and “screwing” are much better words where women are concerned. Do not smash, Hulk! Do not destroy the vibe!
Men tend to be visually stimulated more easily than women are, generally, but women respond more to what they hear. They’re also much more imaginative than men (admit it guys, they have us beat in this department). That means, they don’t need the visuals as much as we do. While we love to see women in fancy, sexy lingerie, women are not as responsive to that kind of thing, by and large. Mileage may vary, though. We’re all different and we’re all individually wired. Some women love to see men wearing sexy briefs and respond to all manner of sartorial male elegance (uniforms and tuxedoes are only two examples of what a lot of women like to see us wear). Some men will find women talking dirty really hot. As a matter of fact, I’ll be willing to bet that most of us would like the women we’re sexing up to be much more forthcoming with the dirty talk.
So encourage your woman to join in the fun. Sex and the smutty talk that goes with it can be liberating for women. Women are expected to conform to certain standards, as we know. But with their lovers, they can cut loose and be as dirty as they like, because in the erotic world, those standards don't exist (or at least they shouldn't). Get a two-way erotic conversation going. This will bring you closer together and bring her closer to the mythical Land of Tell her what you're going to do with her body and encourage her to tell you what she'd like you to do. Also, she can tell you what she’s going to do with yours.
You can even reference a recent session that had you both hotter than Georgia asphalt! It doesn’t hurt to remind her of what you’re capable of; to draw her mind back to that hot moment between you and make her hungry for more. Talk about seeing her breasts moving just above your face and how you love sucking them. Talk about how she looks when you’re gazing down on her as you’re making love. Just keep it hot and centered on how sexy she is, how much you love being in bed with her and how ready you are to go the next round. This will keep her on her toes until the moment comes.
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