You have tremendous power to arouse your husband. He desires and needs you. (A crucial note： Sometimes you won't turn him on. Don’t assume he’s gay, having an affair, or that you're not attractive. Be a detective and explore what is going on in his life. Persist through to healing and change even if it takes professional help.) You may be reluctant to use your feminine power, not wanting it to degenerate into destructive manipulation. But healthy and skillful sexual influencing results in a win-win situation, not the win-lose or lose-lose interaction of harmful sexual games. Your feminine power actually arouses you sexually and plays a part in your assertive sexual desire. This is called alluring desire and is a fun aspect of who you are as a woman.
Correctly using passionate power or alluring desire is not meeting him at the door in seethrough lingerie so you can manipulate a designer dress out of him when you honestly cannot afford one. Healthy sexual power is not cutting off sex so he will straighten up and make needed changes. Actively seducing your husband by playing on his visual nature so he grins all day and you delight in your femininity, or fun flirting and teasing that increase the playfulness and fun in your sexual companionship are examples of a definite win-win and worth cultivating.
Trying to be more openly visual to turn on your husband will be at first like writing with your left hand when you are right-handed. It will have to be a conscious act of the will. Remember, men are aroused by seeing the female form, and the more obvious sexual parts (breasts, genitals, hips) are more powerful. Views and actions that would do nothing for you will have amazing results on your mate.
Play on his attraction to your femininity. Go upstairs in front of him and put an exaggerated swing in your hips, knowing he is noticing and getting excited. Alone with him in his office or at home, assume a less modest sitting position-flashing him images of things to come. In lovemaking, remember to increase his visual excitement. Certain positions are more stimulating, like when you are on top, and you can encourage his exploration and enjoyment of your genitals and breasts.