The first step in supercharging your sex life is finding the right balance of emotional and sexual connection with your partner in everyday life.
By developing the awareness and ability to shift the dynamic of your relationship in any moment, you will always be able to give her exactly what she needs from you.
You've most likely experienced different levels of sexual polarization at different times in your relationship- There were likely moments when, you weren't sexually attracted to your partner at all (when you were fighting/ for example) and others when you couldn't keep your hands off of her. Generally, though, any given relationship hovers around an average set point. It’s in your hands whether or not you want increase emotional, or sexual attraction from that set point in any given moment.
In a low sexual polarity relationship, couples connect well emotionally and tend describe each other their "best friend." But their sex life is usually infrequent and dispassionate.
In a high sexual polarity relationship, the sex is lightening-bolt-to-the-crotch amazing. You can slam each other against the wall at any time of the day and have hot, passionate sex. But when not engaged with each other sexually, your emotional connection and ability to communicate with each other has a tendency to suffer.
The ideal situation is for your relationship to be dynamically sexually polarized.
When you are relaxing together and engaging in conversation, you can depolarize yourselves to a low polarized state so that it is easier to connect with each other emotionally. But when things start heating up sexually, you know how to dial up the sexual charge to increase your mutual desire. It has the benefits of both low-polarity and high-polarity relationships.
Having emotional connection and sexual attraction not mutually exclusive- it's not an either/or seen connection arid attraction are to be interwoven with your relationship because what she needs from you in any moment will always be changing.
When to increase emotional connection
Increase emotional connection whenever your partner wants to talk. Maybe you find yourself asking,”Why is she telling me this?” anytime she starts talking to you about something seemingly inelevant. Understand that she is telling you these things because it makes her feel more connected to you by having shared them.
For example, after coming home from work, she tell you some run-of-the-mill stories about her co-worker, some tasks that she completed. During the telling of the story her mood alternate between happy, excited, neutral, and bored.
In this scenario, she needs emotional connection, needs your softer side to Listen to her. She is telling about all of these things because she wants to ease the emotional connection of you knowing about the day. She is not looking for any problems to be settled; she just wants to feel listened to.
When to increase sexual polarity
Increase sexual polarity with your partner anytime you feel your partnet needing to be broken out of her stress, frustration, or anxiety.
For example, after coming home from work, she tell you about one of her co-workers who was absolutely horrible to her during her coffee break. She mention a report that she accidentally delivered to the mailbox and how she spent half of her day chasing it for it got into the wrong hands.
In this scenario, she needs to benefit from your state. She has gone from a place of sharing to a placing. As she continues to tell you about the day, you look her eyes with sorrow emotion and her heart suffering. She needs to able to fall into you. She needs to be taken it to your arms and be wanting of you saying “That sounds awfull But forever I’m here and lay your head on my chest.”
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