Sex is a primal human activity. Though we have been at it since the entry of Adam and Eve into our planet, we are yet to master all aspects of it. We are still unfamiliar with some of the major areas of the human body that can fine tuned to give you the best sexual experience possible. We as humans tend to overthink and over assess our sexual prowess and performance. It is not an uncommon phenomenon for a person to grapple with thoughts regarding the art of sex. As it's said, to err is human. We are inexperienced and clueless about a lot of things. As a result, when it comes to orgasms, we tend to commit some mistakes. This chapter is all about such mistakes and hoe to avoid and deal with them.
Firstly, an orgasm is not synonymous to climax. The word “Climax” signifies the end. It is not necessary that sex should stop at the first orgasm. If you are adventurous enough and your female partner is willing to contribute further, you can have multiple orgasms. Most people stop after ejaculating the first time around. It is considered perfectly normal to seek and perform multiple orgasms. Scientists have been known to advocate for multiple orgasms in order to keep your heart rate healthy. So having an orgasm should not be considered the end of your sexual activity. Go ahead, have some more of it and enjoy to the fullest.
A lot of people are wary about having multiple orgasms thinking that it depletes the male sperm bank. Here is what you need to understand - the human sperm bank is not a bag of sperms that gets emptied every time you ejaculate. It is not an exhaustible source of biological material! Every moment that you take breaths, you are automatically creating sperm inside your body. Subconsciously, you are making sperms as you are reading this. Please get rid of medieval notions like these and do not refrain yourself from having a good time with your female partner.
A common mistake that people make in the bed is pushing for it. Orgasm is a state of body and mind where a person feels exhilarated and happy. It is the perfect place of happiness that lasts for a couple of seconds. However, not everyone can achieve orgasm at one go. Some people just don’t have the right mood or energy for it on a certain day. Not being able to achieve orgasm or make your partner achieve hers is not a sign of sexual weakness or diminishing manliness. You must accept the fact that factors like stress and depression can interfere in your sexual performance and are potential impediments to your or your partner’s orgasmic pleasure. That does not mean that you are supposed to push for orgasm. Learn to let it be sometimes. Accept the fact that you are stressed tonight and read a book or watch a movie instead. Sex is not the solution to every hurdle in life.
An orgasm should not be the end of your sexual activity. It is a common observation that males usually go to sleep or invest their attention in other activities right after sex. On the other hand, the womenfolk are more emotionally attached to the entire business of sex. The women are more likely to stay in bed and cuddle instead of falling asleep right after sex. The Nature has differentiated between the two sexes on various grounds and this is one minute one of them. For the sake of courtesy and basic kindness, you should not get out of the bed or sleep right after having an orgasm or helping your female partner get one. Do not behave detached after a sex session. You can instead choose to cuddle or just put your arm around your partner and talk to them. Such actions tend to convey that the woman means more than sex to you. They signify your desire to stay and look after the female for a while. Such behavior often leads to the building up of a strong relationship. And naturally, when a woman is emotionally stable and sentimentally attached to her partner, the chances of her orgasming without any inhibitions are multi-fold.
Like it has been mentioned a hundred times before, an orgasm does not start in the bed. For women, it starts way before they reach the bedroom. Women have a tendency to notice and mind very insignificant things. For them, the way a man talks, behaves and walks is more important than the amount of money he has in his bank account. They are more interested in how a man behaves socially than how he behaves sexually. They are okay with an average sexual performer but they will have a problem with a socially inappropriate man. It is all in their heads. Hence, you must take care that besides being a good looker, a talker and possessing an amazing body, you must be socially proper. Know how to address females and behave around them. Opening the door and allowing them to pass first, passing them the tissue paper on the dinner table and doing little things for them even when they have not asked for it are mere examples of how you could behave like a chivalrous and proper man.
The most disastrous mistake a man can commit when it comes to sex is not giving attention to the woman’s viewpoint. Did you ask her before pulling out and spraying your manhood all over her? Had you taken her consent about switching from the regular hole to the unconventional one? These things are of utmost importance and must not be ignored. It is not just about taking consent; it is about following certain principles. She may not complain about it to you but her trust in you won’t be that great either. An orgasm is a happy place for a woman. It is that state in her sexual experience where she can let go of herself and be completely naked in the truest sense of the word. At that point, she lets all the joy that she is feeling wash over her. She is thinking about nothing else but the happiness that is consuming her. You can add to this extreme pleasure by being a decent human being and taking her opinions into consideration. Being a man is not all about being strong and assertive; it is also about being kind and considerate. If your woman is not comfortable with the anal position, do not push for it. For all you know, she could have agreed to try it out had you been casual about it. Now that you have nagged and insisted on it, she has no mood to say yes or even give it a go.
There is another gave folly that men tend to make in bed. The pressure of reaching the big O is so much on men that they tend to lose sight of the clear path. They feel unnecessarily burdened with the task of making their women reach their orgasms, thereby putting too much of importance on it. They start feeling nervous about it hours before they reach the bed. This kind of frenzy is harmful for male performance, and by extension does not allow the woman to reach the land of O.
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