Do you remember your dreams of a first kiss? You watched all those after school specials on TV, and you could hardly wait until it happened to you. You pictured it. You practiced it in your mind. You imagined who it would be with. And in those heady days when you were pre-pubescent, kissing was likely as far as those fantasies went.
And then, for so many couples, you got married and kissing almost came to a halt.
I think it's because of a misunderstanding of what kissing is for. Men, for instance, often think kissing is foreplay—as in, it is necessarily going somewhere. Because many women are reluctant to put a downpayment on something they may not want to purchase later, so to speak, they stop kissing, so that he doesn't get the wrong idea.
Kissing then becomes something that she may actually avoid unless you’re about to have sex. And he may avoid it, too, thinking that it’s not really necessary except in the bedroom. But that's too bad, because kissing actually makes us women feel closer to our men! It’s fun. It’s intimate And it grosses out the kids (in a good way).
Just because you're not sure you're going to want to make love in the evening is no reason to avoid kissing earlier in the day (now if you women always turn your husband down, that’s a problem, but we’re going to get to that later in this series). If you avoid kissing, then you deprive women of one of our primary ways to get your libido up-and almost guarantee she won’t want to make love later.
Most couples only kiss today as foreplay-not throughout the day. Or if they do kiss, it's just a quick peck. So I want you to start kissing-really kissing- everyday!
Quick kissing tips:
●Saliva: some like it. Some don't. Find out what preference your spouse has (and tell your spouse yours!).
●Tongue: Same thing. Some really like it. Some don't. Keep it light! If your spouse is too tongue-happy, say, "Let me kiss you for thirty seconds and show you how I like it.” And then do so enthusiastically." Breath mints are your friend. Have some in your purse and use them throughout the day. Toothbrushes are your friend, too!
● Use your hands. Caress your spouse's back, arms, head, or wherever you like!
● Savor it. Here's a tip especially for the guys: don't rush to turn kissing into something else. What will rev her engines is the romance of it. If you hurry things, and start groping her, or touching her breasts every time she walks by, or slip your hand under her shirt every time you kiss, chances are you'll turn her off. Think of kissing like an amazing appetizer before a meal. You don't gorge it down so you can get to the meal; you enjoy it for itself. So just kiss her. It helps her feel loved and wanted.
Great Sex Challenge:
Set the timer and kiss for at least 15 seconds straight. It's amazing how long 15 seconds actually seems. Start repeating this, everyday, during the day (not just at night while you're lying in bed). You'll find yourself feeling more warmly towards your spouse, and sex will feel a lot: more intimate.
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