Be sure to remove your jewelry and warm your hands. Massage is lovingly nurturing your mate's body, and these are common courtesies to enhance the experience. You may want to buy a flannel sheet to drape the parts of the body you are not massaging. Keep towels handy to roll up under the neck or other areas that need support. The message process involves in movements such as rhythms, pressure, breathing, relaxation,etc. By doing message frequently with your partner, you will both become healthier and enjoy more mutual intimacy.
Rhythms. A soothing and sensuous massage should maintain a smooth and even rhythm with strokes that flow into one another. It should have a relaxing, almost hypnotic effect. One technique for accomplishing this is trying to al-ways have at least one hand on the body at all times. You will become nnore adept as you practice. Don’t worry, it will feel great regardless. As you practice, a natural rhythm will come more easily.
Pressure. A common mistake is thinking that massage, to be effective, must always be firm. Sometimes a light stroke or a hand lying on a body part will start nerves and skin to tingling and will feel very sensuous. The reason the table should come to the upper thigh is that the pressure in massage should be given by leaning your body weight into the person—not straining your back or shoulder muscles. It is helpful to face the way you are stroking and be able to move around the person as you go from legs to back to abdomen.
Breathing and relaxation. Massage should be a stress reliever, both physically and mentally. Put on some relaxing music and dim the lights. It helps to practice diaphragmatic breathing for stress management: draw deep breaths clear into your stomach and gently let them out. You can practice diaphragmatic breathing by resting a hand on your partners stomach as your partner breathes deeply and slowly, causing your hand to rise and fall. The one giving the mas-sage also needs to breathe deeply and be relaxed; the goal is to avoid communicating stress and tenseness. You will be amazed how relaxed you feel after giving a massage if you allow yourself to calm down and get into the sensuous flow. Slow down your mind and choose to focus on the sensuous massage rather than everything you need to be doing. This is a marvelous gift God has given you： you can mentally choose to relax and tune out the world’s worries for a time.
Sequences. You will establish some sequences that will feel good to you and your mate. This chapter starts with the back and shoulders, then moves to feet and legs, then hands, abdomen, chest, and face. Because of time limita-tions, you may wish to do mini-massages in which you do shoulders and face, or you may wish to focus on the lower and upper back. Sometimes it will be meaningful and relax-ing to stick to one part of the anatomy, such as feet or face. Create different sequences that connect and relax you as a couple. A full body massage could take at least an hour, so you will have to adapt your massage to accommodate your time schedule.
If there is a problem with sensitivity, try a firmer touch. If that doesn’t work, move on to a less ticklish part; often you can come back later. The person being mas-saged often finds that the ticklishness is more mental and will go away as relaxation increases. Massage not only helps a person relax and enjoy a very sensuous experience but also is very beneficial health-wise. Massage accelerates the flow of blood in the body without straining the heart. The blood removes the waste from muscles and tissues and can promote healing and physical well-being.
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