Pornography means different things to different people.
For some, it’s a series of well-hidden computer folders that contain gigabytes of treasure to look forward to after a long day at work. Others may never have watched pornography in their lives, and don’t understand the appeal. Though pornography may not count: as remarkable sex, it is undoubtedly a growing part of people's sexual lives. Some use it for foreplay to achieve remarkable sex, and others use it to satisfy their darker desires without having to face the judgment of others.
When else are you going to be able to watch a dwarf have anal sex with a four-hundred-pound man? Just remember that somewhere out there, the obese man and the dwarf were both paid, which means there is enough interest to fund these videos.
Whatever the purpose, it’s important to realize that pornography represents a very interesting distinction from every other point in our existence. It is essentially arousal and sex on demand. How does this work psychologically, and are there any consequences to how this impacts our sense of real-life arousal and desire? Is it an overall boon to our sexuality and broadening of sexual horizons, or will it permanently stunt our sexual development because we will never be in a place of lacking?
To attempt to answer this question, we first have to dive into how we receive pornography below the surface level. What happens in the brain when we watch porn?
Sexually explicit material isn’t processed in the normal way that nonsexual material is. Porn triggers an entirely different set of brain cells called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons fire in two instances: when a human physically moves, and when a human observes a physical act. This means that pornography puts people into the scenario of the pornographic movie. If the same neurons are firing when you move and when you watch someone move, its literally indistinguishable to the brain.
In other words, the brain perceives us having sex when we watch pornography that we like.
Your brain fully believes that you are being gyrated on by a sexy woman or man, and that the opportunity for sex is extremely imminent. As we discussed, this is when the body begins to prepare itself for that sexual encounter. The brain can't distinguish between a real person and the video or magazine you might be looking at.
If that's what the brain perceives, that means we will inevitably grow aroused and need an outlet for the arousal, which is typically masturbation.
The potential issue with pornography rears its head here immediately. What if someone starts to build a dependence on pornography for sexual arousal? Whatever their kink or desire is, they can find it in a moment’s notice, and it may be drastically different from their partner, Is that going to be good or bad for the relationship?
In a sense, pornography hijacks the biological response intended for real people and replaces it with almost unreachable ideals.
When the real life experience inevitably falls short of the wonders that the mirror neurons experienced through diverse pornography, disappointment occurs. Where do you go from there? Your brain thinks you have experienced amazing sex with a supermodel on a boat in the Caribbean, so how is it going be satisfied and aroused with your partner in sweat pants and disheveled hair?
The only way back to sexual satisfaction is through more pornography, and the vicious cycle continues.
The mirror neurons aren’t the only actors in creating a cycle of dependence on pornography.
The same neurotransmitter we’ve discussed a few times, dopamine, is also released when we view pornography. As you may recall, dopamine is generally released to create pleasure, so it’s no wonder that many recreational drugs manipulate dopamine production.
Dopamine increases when we view pornography, but dopamine increases substantially more when we view sex that is novel and different from what we've seen before. In other words, watching kinky, deviant, and otherwise non-vanilla sex is going to be the most pleasurable for us, because the brain perceives you in that very position or scenario.
Studies have shown that men are unable to achieve orgasm with the same partner in quick succession, but they have no problem achieving orgasm in quick succession with different partners. This manipulation of dopamine seems to imply the same sentiment. The more novel and different pornography is, the more we like it. In a sense, it’s the closest you can get to another partner, which is more thrilling than having sex with your partner of ten years.
If you are used to reaching certain levels of dopamine through pornography, then how are you going to be satisfied with your real sex life? You might love and adore your partner as much as humanly possible, but are you able to fight what researchers call "arousal addiction” and a relative dopamine deficiency?
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