Most people will only get one and a half steps in - perhaps dipping a toe into the addiction stage where pornography is part of their daily or weekly routine. For those people, pornography has actually been shown to be beneficial to their sex lives and libidos in real life.
Researchers at the University of California found a positive correlation between the amount of time watching porn and the desire to have sex. Those who watched over two hours of pornography a week had the highest helps warm it up for actual sexual encounters. Anything over that might be levels of arousal and libido. Perhaps there is a point at which pornography is actually good for the libido and detrimental and overload the senses and undermine expectations.
Indeed, studies from the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, found that an over-indulgence in porn was bad both for the viewer and the partner's sense of self-esteem, sexual satisfaction, and relationship quality. The partner ended up feeling undesirable and inadequate in a manner that can be summed up with, “Why do they need pornography if I’m here? What are they not getting from me?”
In fact, they have good reason to wonder that, because additional research has found that pornography consumption has a positive correlation with infidelity and a lack of relationship commitment. It’s as if wandering eyes wanted to fulfill what they watched in their pornography.
So, is pornography generally beneficial or harmful to people and their relationships?
It’s a mixed bag. It depends. Yes and no. The only definitive judgment call we can make about pornography is that it allows people to better access their sexuality, and normalizes sexual desire. We are human beings that have reproduced for millions of years, so there is no sharne inherent in the act. Pornography has the possibility of introducing a more sex-positive attitude toward sex, though it is a difficult balance to strike.
Much of that has to do with the type of pornography that one consumes, and there are markedly different types consumed by each gender. This should come as no surprise, due to the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey and the legion of females that watched the movie multiple times in theaters (myself included! In fact, the infamous book and movie epitomize the difference in gender preferences towards pornography.
Men can be said to be more visual, direct, and immediate, where women can be said to be more mental, emotional, and attached. Ogas and Gaddam determined through a series of studies that men tend to be drawn to sex scenes with little or no context, while women cared more about the context and character stories rather than the sex itself.
We can also see this trend transfer to the popularity of online erotica tailored for women: erotic stories and modern-day romance novels that may have one or two sex scenes, but otherwise focus on character development and romantic scenarios. Believe it or not, this type of erotica produces more revenue than online pornography for men.
If the sex isn't the important part of pornography for women, then what is? Ogas and Gaddam cited a few of the most popular elements in erotica:
A sexual awakening by the female protagonist.
Gruff yet vulnerable leading men.
An emphasis on love, emotions, and attachment.
Ending in a committed relationship, happily ever after.
Some sort of alpha male leading man, as the most popular occupations of heroes in romanc novels are: doctor, cowboy, boss, prince, ranchi knight, surgeon, king, bodyguard, and sheriff.
Let's contrast this to what men look for in pornography-fishnet stockings, fake breasts, and perfectly manicured feet. Men want the females in pornography uncomplicated and only interested in sex, but women demand much more from their sexual fantasies.
A valuable step toward remarkable sex: limit your pornography, and let your partner be the canvas for which to try your dirty fetishes. If you must indulge in pornography, indulge together, and don’t let it be a replacement for the real life arousal your partner can bring.
If you’ve ever wanted a look into the steady world of erotica, then look no farther because I’ve compiled a few examples of exactly the type of stuff that makes women (and men) swoon. In the exerpts, you’ll see all of the elements that were discussed about women’s preferences in erotica.
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