With so many women on this tiny planet of ours, it’s going to be impossible for any guy you date not to interact with other women in some form or fashion. Therefore, if you completely lose your poise when the guy you’re dating looks or interacts with other women, don’t be surprised if he decides to take his business elsewhere once he’s had enough of your crazy jealousy. No matter what kind of personal self-esteem issues you have, you’ll have to get over them very quickly if you don’t want to come off as a straight up nut job to a great guy.
If the primal nature of men leads them to compete against and dominate other men for the right to the best resouces and most fertile women, then the nature of women is to compete against, other women for the attention of the most dominant man. But even though we’re all driven by these primal drives, civilization (“civil” being the underlying word) demands that we “play out” these drives with far more sophistication in order to succeed. So while these primal drives are built-in to our psyche, keep in mind that a high-value woman communicates her superiority not by a display of force or intimidation, but by the way she carries herself in the midst of potential competitors. Acting out on your jealousy communicates fear of loss, insecurity, neediness and desperation - all of which are highly unattractive to the kind of man you want to end up with.
Some women falsely believe that a show of jealousy towards other women might help to keep their Mr. McDreamy in check (and other women at bay). Unfortunately, getting jealous whenever your guy interacts with other women never works in your favor. Whether your jealousy shows itself through violent outbursts or passive-aggressive pettiness doesn’t matter. There’s always some form of collateral damage that will cause his trust, respect, and adoration for you to corrode over time.
First of all, being irrationally jealous communicates to your guy that you have some serious self-esteem issues that might make him reassess the value he’s already ascribed to you. When a high-quality man is looking for a woman to be with in the long-term, ending up with a hyper-jealous wife or girlfriend is a situation he’s going to want to avoid at all costs. No matter what kind of chemistry you may share with him or how gorgeous you are, an excessively jealous nature heavily taints your personality to the point where even a man who seemed to love everything about you may find himself reevaluating his taste in women.
Secondly, displays of jealousy towards other women sometimes results in embarrassing or awkward social situations. For a man, it’s tremendously aggravating if he’s forced into a social situation that demands masterful social finesse just to manage his woman’s erratic jealous behavior. A woman with such an unpredictable nature limits her use (yes...I said “use”) to a high-quality man because he’ll never be sure how she’ll react in public settings where interacting with other women is unavoidable. If he can’t trust you to act with poise and decorum in social settings without acting out on your jealousy then and there (or berating him later in private), he’ll avoid taking you along with him altogether.
Obviously, I’m not talking about situations in which a guy is clearly disrespecting you by blatantly ogling or flirting with other women. These are different situations altogether, and they shouldn’t even be a problem for you if you’re dating a man who loves you, respects you and values your self-dignity. Also, because of differences in social prowess, culture, etc., there’s always a chance that you might consider a man’s behavior a bit too “friendly” when he genuinely is just being himself. In a situation like this it’s better to have open, mature dialogue about his behavior as opposed to losing your feminine poise in public or blowing up on him the moment you’re both alone.
I understand that one of the main things women want from men is security, in all areas. Therefore, it is quite important for you to be in a relationship with a man in whom you can truly trust. If after numerous heart to heart conversations the man you’re dating can’t seem to find a common ground with you concerning his overly friendly or flirtatious behavior with the opposite sex, it might be time for you to look for greener pastures, especially if his behavior causes you needless stress and anxiety.
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