Argument is a word usually used to designate a dispute or a fight.It is unavoidable in any kinds of relationships from a critical thinking perspective.If you has realzied the misconception that in many arguments condition in a relationship, many couples consider apologizing as a sign of weakness. When you have the courage to overcome this misconcetpion,you're reading to take actions whenever you're ready to put an argument to rest. Suggestions on how to put an argument to rest and get back to a place of harmony in your relationship are given hereby in this passage.
1. Acknowledge your mistake specifically
Confronting with arguments, thoughts in male's brain always fall into the following three categories: she's wrong, I'm wrong or we're both wrong.
In any arguments, it's merely the case that she's 100% in the wrong while you should 0% of the blame. By carefully reflection on yourself, you'll likely discover that you at leat have some input into the miscommunication. If such kind of case happens, don't be so selfish to just blame her.
If you think you might have messed up but you just can't figure out exactly what you've done to upset your partner, then think for a while on how to be a great listener before you start a patient and affectionate conversation with your partner.
Remember that the bottom line in the resolution of any argument, you have to ackowledge the fault as specifically as possible.
2. Express remorse for the act
Show that it's affecting you and you feel bad about it. The reason for this is that when something that you do causes her emotional distress, she wants to know that it registers on your radar.
If you feel any combination of shame, fear, embarrassment, vulnerability, sadness, or regret, then, it’s best to let her know. The more information she has about your emotions, the better. Again, letting her know that you are feeling remorse and not just thinking that you should feel remorse are entirely different things.
3. Recognize and validate her feelings
Let her know that you're aware of her in this process. When most guys apologize, they only speak about themselves and their intentions.
They say things like:
“I wasn't trying to hurt you.”
“I wish I hadn't done that.”
But she isn't looking for you to explain yourself. She wants to know that you understand how your actions affected her.
If you're just apologizing to clear your conscience, she will be able to pick up on it.
To validate her feelings, you want to say things like:
“That must have been very frustrating to be sitting by yourself for twenty minutes, I’m sorry that I made you wait so long.”
“I know you must have felt anxious when I didn’t call. I uJd have felt anxious to."
"I'm sorry if you felt abandoned when I fell asleep during the middle of your story. That was not respectful of me and that couldn't have felt good for you on any level."
4. Tell her your plans for error correction
If you say something along the lines of, “I can tell that I’ve messed up and I don't want this to happen again I will make sure this doesn't happen by doing so instead in the future.”This gives her the reassurance that you truly understand what you did wrong and you are consciously trying to prevent it from happen again.
5. Do something about your argument
This is the most important step. Generally, women won't live nearly as much in the textual world of time and space as compared to men. They are much better at being present minded.
In the moment that you're apologizing and only saying you won't do it again won't show anything of you in the current time.You should realize that in this moment, your partner feels like she's been lied to, she closes of to you, puts up a wall between the two of you to make sure you care enough to break through it.
Thus, the most important thing to do after you verbalize your apology is to take action. You shall show that you've learned a lesson and you're doing something about it.
Your actions needs to be as specific as possible for your actions shall be powerful.
If your partner's trust in you has been compromized because you said you would do somethign and then you forgot or chose not to do it, then do something you've commited to do.
The five steps as above may seem overwhelming but each one is quite simple. You shall just let go of your ego and become adept at apologizing when you need to and you'll much unnecessary stress and resentment from your partner's life as well as your own.
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