Any relationship cannot survive on its own. They needs to be enriched with nutrition from both sides. Mutual care and nurturing in a relationship can create mutual beneficial connection. To foster a deep and loving relationship, lost romance and old habits had to be regained especially for couples in a relationship for a long time.
Lost Romance - Jermaine & Donna
Before they had children, Jermaine and Donna used to go out to dinner once or twice a week. They would sometimes go see a show, or go dancing, or just curl up on the couch together. After ten years of marriage and four children, Jermaine and Donna now go out once every six months. If they get any time together in the house without kids, they typically talk about the kids or household logistics. With work and kids, they also connect physically a lot less than they used to. They both feel the same way.
"The romance in our marriage seems to be lost. We never have time for each other, and when we do, we talk about the kids."
Old Habits Die Off - Dustin & Anna
When they first dating and newly married, Dustin would write love notes to Anna. He would leave them on her car in the morning, or drop one on her pillow at night. Anna, at times would randomly give Dustin neck and foot rubs. Within three years of getting married, both Anna and Dustin have ceased with the love letters and rubs. They spend less time talking together and more time going out with other people. One night they talked about these old habits.
"I remember when Anna would randomly rub my neck or feet.Not only did it feel good on my muscles, but it made me feel special, loved. Now she hardly ever does it unless I ask which kind of takes the romance out of it."
"I used to love those love notes Dustin would leave for me."
The best parts about receiving the notes were the fact that he said "I love you in every note, and I never knew when to expect them. That kind of spontaneity just doesn't exist in our relationship anymore."
Secret 9: Pursue your partner like you did when you were dating, and you will connect.
We have busy lives. With children,work and other activities. So it is difficult to find time. But you have to make time by making your relationship a priority. There are a lot of different ways you can pursue your partner:
•Revisit some of the things you used to do when you first met. What did you enjoy doing together? Get it scheduled.
•Surprise each other. Do something spontaneous that your spouse would appreciate.
•Send them a text randomly during the day reminding them that you love them. Tell them about an attribute they have that you appreciate.
•Respect each other. Take time to listen to your partner and ask them how they are feeling.
•Be physically intimate with each other.Schedule the time if you have to, but leave some roam for impulsiveness.
•Dress up for your partner and treat them to their favorite dinner.
•If you have kids, drop the excuses and find a babysitter. You may not be able to go out as often as you like, but you should model what a healthy couple does to your children.
•Schedule some time for love rituals
Like dating relationships, marriages requires nurturing. It is important to continue to pursue your partner like you did when you were dating. Make sure to acknowledge any efforts your spouse undertakes to pursue you, and let him or her know how much you appreciate it.
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